Philabuster's List



In Rotation...

The Aliens - Astronomy For Dogs Pony Pants - Fives Okkervil River - The Stage Names
Shout Out Louds - Our Ill Wills Liars - s/t TTC - 3615












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Welcome to BadmintonStamps. We're Philabuster and SkinnySlim, representing Philly and NYC respectively. We are very good looking. Thanks.

September 27, 2007


Thursday Photo Essay


Before I Was A Wheel I Was A Will


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Photo Credit)







Thursday Photo Essay


You Are Unable To Touch This


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Photo Credit)




No Argument Here


Philly's own mad booking scientist Joe Lekkas puts the shoe on the other hand tonight, as he and his motley chamber pop crew, Grammar Debate!, headline at The Khyber. The band, seen
here doing the obligatory let's-all-switch-faces press kit photo, will be celebrating the release of their new album, Cheetah Vs Helicopter, and it's strongly recommended that you turn out. Philabuster will be in attendance, playing a little game I like to call PBR vs Liver, probably followed a little later on by Wait To Get Home vs Pee In That Alley.



September 26, 2007


Ray Bay Bay


As the Red Sox and Yankees make their usual charge into the playoffs, their fellow AL East division members The Tampa Bay Devil Rays are making their usual charge for last place and the worst record in all of baseball. Refusing to accept that their team's ninth cellar finish in ten seasons is simply the result of a minuscule payroll combined with a pitching-deficient farm system, the front office has chosen a bold new scapegoat: the team name. Starting next season,
they'll ditch the "Devil" and be known as simply "The Rays". Of course, name changes are purely cosmetic, and are more often executed as a PR quick fix than out of any genuine effort at improvement. And the ambiguity of the new name, along with some remixed logos and unis, opens up an entirely new and confusing can of worms for generations of baseball fans to come. After all, what else could Rays stand for if not Devil Rays? Rays of Florida sunshine? Seeing as the team plays its home games inside a covered dome, this interpretation would probably go over about as well as the bottles of sun block in the stadium's gift shop. The only other possibility is Sting Rays, the malevolent beasts who single-tailedly killed Steve Irwin. Is the world ready to cheer on a team of Crocodile Hunter murderers? Probably. But unless they can pitch as well as they stab, the summer of 2008 is gonna be another long season of gopher balls and tropical storms in Tampa.



September 25, 2007


Veiled Tendencies


My little brother is going to college next year, and I've been taking him on all of the great University tours. Did you know that every school in this country is the oldest something or has the largest something else? At least three schools have claimed to be the oldest in the country. Johns Hopkins was not as fortunate, as their greatest claim to fame is being "the oldest private research university on the east coast". Yikes. Also, at all of these schools you should/shouldn't step on, rub, hop, or step over some landmark. If you do/don't, you will die/fail a test/become immune to antibiotics (very odd superstition, Carleton College). Yesterday, I took the little brososo to Columbia University. We diverted from the tour and wandered into a lecture on modern Iran by some guy named
Professor Ahmadinejad. Well this shortie sure is popular. The class was packed and the students were engaged. His Holocaust knowledge seemed a bit suspect, but man, did dude bring the goods about his home country. I mean, did you know there are no homosexuals in Iran? How do they do that? Oh, right. Still, who wants to live in a world with no homos? Because without the homos, not only will we be deprived of style, culture, and the Pet Shop Boys, but we'll also lose the flaming gay lisp. What's that? Oh please, don't make spell it out for you sister (said in a flaming gay lisp). The epitome of all inappropriate dialects, it's not the way the majority of homosexuals speak, but it's the funniest way the minority does. And the loss of the flaming gay lisp is a loss for easy, unclever jokesters everywhere. Sure, we'll always have the "Southern Male Idiot", "Old Jew", and my personal favorite, "Chinese Woman Driver". But without the flaming gay lisp, how are we ever going to mock our friends when they say something either ridiculous or mad gay, like, "Oh God, don't want to see that chick's face or body." I guess we'd just have to learn how to imitate a diminutive deranged Iranian man, and Allah knows they're a lot less fun than our good ol' American homosexuals.



September 24, 2007


The Pony Track Be Calling You Kelly When Your Name Is Tommy


Comin' atcha first thing every Monday morning, it's The Pony Track, a super-fantastic short distance dedication to BadmintonStamps Collective founding member and internationally renowned symbol for musical excellence Aaron "Pony" Child. No fancy links, no clever write-ups, 'cause these awesome songs don't need no splainin'. So c'mon, ride the pony!



September 21, 2007


There's Just No Doubting This Weekend In Philly


Tonight at
Transit, don't miss Turbo Station, a mega-huge Vice/Colt 45-sponsored party featuring pretty much every Philly DJ worth your time. SuperToddBros, Oh Murder! Inc, Shawn Ryan and the Hurrah posse, and Steven Bloodbath all under one roof at the same time? We'd call it impossible, except that they were all gettin' drunk together at Mission 300 last weekend, too. But if some's good, more's better, don't ya know. Git over there!

As though it knew you'd need some recovery time, Saturday night is a bit on the lean side. There's Bleached Black a-happenin' on down in Medusa, of course. If your live music itch gots ta be scratched, best bet is YYYs-ish Bugs In The Dark, opening up over at Tritone.

When we fearlessly predicted that Klaxons would win the Mercury Prize, long-time 'Stamps loyalist Maria* challenged us comment-style. Of course, we were right. But her alternate pick, a bit of Bjork-fronting-The-Pipettes crazycoolness called Bat For Lashes, is nothing to sneeze at. They're at Johnny Brenda's this Sunday night. Go see 'em, and if you run into Maria, remind her that we're as gracious in victory as we are, well, pretty much any other time.

Monday Bonus Round: Flat Mary Road at Tritone. There's Kool-Aid here, kids. We're not drinking it quite yet, but we are eyeing a very tall glass.



September 20, 2007


Thursday Photo Essay


Hot Babes





Thursday Photo Essay


Thongs Ahoy


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Photo Credit)




If It Can Flamingo Wrong, It Will


Murphy famously postulated that anything is possible except skiing through a revolving door. It took zoological expert/talk show whore Jack Hannah to prove him wrong. Apparently, it's also impossible to
push a caged flamingo through a turnstile. Beyond the superficial comedy of the situation, Hannah's post-rescue quotes provide some added insight into how low on the brain chain he actually is. "I never thought about the crate being square and the turnstile being round," the 60-year said, admitting to a level of spacial comprehension regularly surpassed by parrots half his age. The incident also revealed Hannah's poor understanding of advanced intellectual concepts like irony. "I can't describe the feeling in my stomach. I can't move up or down. The bars are on your face," bemoaned the man who makes his living confining wild animals inside 2-foot-by-3-foot cages. When asked how he was going to recover from the harrowing ordeal, Hannah said he planned to stretch out by the pool and maybe play a little Tetris.



September 19, 2007


End Of Days


If you are reading this right now you're either on another planet or the world hasn't ended yet. Either way, there's no denying that this party we call Earth ain't gonna last forever. Seventeen percent of Americans believe
the world will end in their lifetime, and that means they're right. So, how will this destruction take place? Let's look at the four leading possibilities, shall we...

Earthquakes
Scenario: Massive tremors hit California, causing its demise. Surviving Californians move to other parts of the world, bringing their unique mix of insanity and depravity with them. Murder, mayhem, rape, pillaging ensue.
Likelihood: Medium. The Big One could happen, but you gotta think even our Government would have the wherewithal to destroy the survivors.

Killer Comet
Scenario: A comet comes down and kills us. It's right there in the name.
Likelihood: It happened before, so pretty high. The last hours of anticipation would be crazygonuts. Lots of freaking out, lots of sex, depravity. Good stuff.

Killer Cars
Scenario: Our automobiles, drunk on some mutated ethanol grass, rise up and rebel, crashing into humans and animals, and eventually each other, thus creating an explosion that decimates the planet.
Likelihood: Very low, really just an excuse to post a great Radiohead song and play off of the "killer" in scenario from above.

Godzilla/Mothra-esque Battle Between Super Bands U2 And R.E.M.
Scenario: Bono's hubris and ego prove to much for one time peer Michael Stipe, who makes a snarky comment in a local Athens, GA newspaper about how if everytime Bono claps an African dies, he should stop clapping. Larry Mullen retorts with nasty words regarding Stipe's friends Mario Batali and Helena Christianson. A Peter Buck ambien rage ensues. Both bands ingest a super steroid concoction from a mad scientist billionaire (why'd they do that!). They grow to immense proportions, armed with giant musical instruments, and trounce Earth to little pieces.
Likelihood: High



September 18, 2007


I'll Tell You Pilgrim, I Started These Links


When Biggie said, "Remember Rappin' Duke, duh-ha, duh-ha/Never thought that hip-hop would take it this far", you probably don't know what he was talking about. Until
now.

Paul Hogan hosted the Oscars. One more time: Paul Hogan hosted the Oscars.

New Hot Chip song Shake A Fist = Squiggliciously kickass

What the world will be like in a hundred years, a hundred years ago.

A panther

Did you make it to the part where Rapping Duke raps about Aretha Franklin?

Remember when we told you we would update you on the R. Kelly trial. Well we won't. Cause it got delayed. Again.

I guess that's good news for Kells. More good news for the King of R&B is that BadmintonStamps personal friends Three 6 Mafia got his back. Which means we got his back. Which we already had. Actually, maybe Three 6 Mafia only got his back cause we got his back. It's how friends do.



September 17, 2007


The Pony Track Is All Tied Up


Comin' atcha first thing every Monday morning, it's The Pony Track, a super-fantastic short distance dedication to BadmintonStamps Collective founding member and internationally renowned symbol for musical excellence Aaron "Pony" Child. No fancy links, no clever write-ups, 'cause these awesome songs don't need no splainin'. So c'mon, ride the pony!



September 13, 2007


Tonight: Pitbulls Are So Last Month


It feels like it's been ages since the Trocadero Balcony has had anything legitimately Thursday night-worthy, but lo, the drought ends here and now. Greyhounds (pic'd), one of the most promising new musical developments in the 2-1-5, works out the kind of rag tag rock you'd expect from a band that's been holed up in the studio with Bill Moriarty (Dr. Dog, Man Man), and darned if that's not exactly what the doctor ordered on an almost cool September eve like this. You might as well catch 'em now, since after their show alongside a certain clapping, yeah-ing band later this fall, they'll likely be a much harder ticket to snag. The whole feel-good sundae gets a cherry on top with opening sets from 'Stamps-backed locals The Major Leagues and The Neighborhood Choir, not to mention the svelte $7 price tag. So head on down and balc it up like it's going out of style.




Thursday Photo Essay


Can't Catch Me


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Photo Credit)




Thursday Photo Essay


Moonshinin'


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Photo Credit)



September 12, 2007


Gimme An "A"


Like the unlimited beer and soft pretzels at the event itself, people just can't seem to keep Mission 300's name out their mouths. This time around, it's Philadelphia Weekly showering some crazy old-media love on our bowling, dancing, drinking, awesomeing extravaganza. Pick up a copy from your nearest magic box, or just check out
the party feature in this week's A-List online, replete with incontrovertable visual evidence that yes, your ass does look great as you shimmy up to the foul line. And here's a hot little tidbit that developed too late for the printing presses: we've got the Bleached Black DJs on board, primed and ready to send the first best party of the fall careening toward untold mongo heights. But if you want to live the life, as they say, you need to have that damn damn ticket. Sell-outs are a real and scary thing, folks, and you do not want to be on the wrong end of this one. We had to turn people away last time, and by gosh we'll do it again. Do you really want to look around at 2:30 AM on Sunday and realize you're not in a bowling alley with flowing kegs and bumpin' jamz and sexy people? Exactly, so go buy your tickets online right now. I mean, would Rick Ocasek lie to you?



September 11, 2007


The Stupid Kiss


A lot of you kiddums may not know, but back in the early nineties there was a social movement called Political Correctness. Like the Temperance and Suffrage movements before it, this was very bad for our culture. Political Correctness (aka " p.c.") opposes to pointing out of humorous differences/deficiencies in other people's race, nationality, religion, or gender. Political correctors believe these people must be defended because they're weak and it might hurt their itty bitty weakling feelings. One of the casualties of this movement is the lost art of Polish kissing. A Polish Kiss is when someone passionately licks/sucks the cheek of their lover. The politically correct crowd all but banned the practice because they felt its name capitalized on the longstanding joke that Polish people are stupid. Well, guess what? As they say in Poland, "If the shoe fits, put it on your hand and wear it like a mitten." But not only are Pollacks stupid dumb, they also actually kiss that way. So in some ways, the p.c. fascists were being quite incorrect. And guess what again? Polish kissing is pretty awesome. Wet, funny, tickley, succulent, basically everything you would ever want in a kiss. So I say screw the politically correct prudes who only want you to kiss in the "proper" French style; do it up and lick you lover's face 'till it prunes.




In Rotation: What You Talkin' 'Bout?


A brief glimpse at what's presently gettin' spun in the Philabuster household.

Liars -
Liars
SkinnySlim tells me he's feelin' this album like the New York City heat, but I'm at a loss. Sure, there's some interesting things going on, and a couple of tracks could pass for decent Jesus And Mary Chain b-sides. For the most part, though, it's as creative, ambitious, and ultimately unlistenable as Return To Cookie Mountain, Sung Tongs, or [insert Phillip Glass composition here]. Thank goodness blogging is free preview copy valhalla, 'cause otherwise Slim would owe me a couple Lincolns.

TTC - 3615
Latest effort from the French equivalent of Plastic Little, with vibes ranging from dancefloor crayzee to dirtysouth crunk and, of course, subdued strip club chic. If their label, the recently [click.]-showcased Institubes, really does rise up and challenge Ed Banger for the musical Franco-hipster crown, they can start by claiming supremacy in the rap game. 'Cause I don't understand a single word these guys say, and I can still confidently tell you that they're way more talented than Uffie.

Shout Out Louds - Our Ill Wills
The Germans have engineering. The Chinese have math. Canadians have Labatt Blue. And the Swedes? They have jangly indie pop music. God bless 'em.

Okkervil River - The Stage Names
There are several things that, musically, I'm a total sucker for: big orchestral strings, horn parts, and anything even close to a hint of pedal steel. The new Okkervil disc has all that, plus one of the best voices in the business in Will Sheff's yowling tenor. Pre-game preparation for the (now sold-out) Johnny Brenda's show on September 29th means the album will remain a fixture in my disc changer for another few weeks still.

Pony Pants - Fives
There are several things that, musically, I'm a total sucker for: big orchestral strings, horn parts, and anything even close to a hint of pedal steel. Pony Pants have none of these. But the processed beats, chug-a-chug guitars, and West Philly house party hook-up stories on their brand new EP pretty much entirely make up for it.

The Aliens - Astronomy For Dogs
Ex-Beta Band peeps prove they're still as trippy as a blind man on an uneven surface.



September 10, 2007


Work Ethic


"I wake up, smoke weed, fuck bitches, get my dick sucked - a lot - drink my drink and come in here and do this shit. What am I supposed to do? Take a vacation? Go to Cancun and relax? This is the vacation. You got a job, but this the vacation right here. I can't front, though - I took that line from the nigga from Kiss"
- Lil Wayne

"You have a lot of time to have a long vacation when you're underground."
- Gene Simmons




The Pony Track Plays It Like Fivel


Comin' atcha first thing every Monday morning, it's The Pony Track, a super-fantastic short distance dedication to BadmintonStamps Collective founding member and internationally renowned symbol for musical excellence Aaron "Pony" Child. No fancy links, no clever write-ups, 'cause these awesome songs don't need no splainin'. So c'mon, ride the pony!



September 7, 2007


And That's One Hell Of A Flagrant Boast Fight


When SkinnySlim isn't busy writing about music, I'm busy reading about music. I'm not talking about other websites. Like I have time to read the moronic musings of unqualified geeks sitting at home,
pouring over every recent release. I'm talking about academia, son. The real stuff. And the African-American Studies major in me loves nothing more than reading about black music history. A popular theme in these authoritative essays is to link blues music with hip-hop. Whether they focus on repetition and signifying, or roots in the folk troupe subset, it seems these historians love nothing more than to rave about how hip-hop music derives from the blues. Problem is, modern hip-hop is about as opposite from the blues as you could get. While bluesmen sing about how little pussy they get, how few possessions they have, how broke they are, and how shitty their life is, rappers rap about how much pussy they get, how many rocks they have on their finger/have sold on the streets, how rich they are, and generally how great their life is. So while old school hip-hop may have its roots in the blues, the only source of inspiration I can find for the modern form is oddball indie-rockers Half Japanese and their 1989 album Charmed Life. First off, it's a great rap album title. Get it? Charms. Like jewels. Charmed life? Second off, these songs are more flagrantly boastful than Jay-Z and Snoop in a flagrant boast fight. We're talking songs about striking it rich, getting hoes, and general living in pimpery. So next time you wanna keep it gangster, reach for that Three 6 Mafia. And if you ain't got no Three 6 Mafia, you really should go out and buy some Three 6 Mafia. But on your way to the shop, listen to that Half Japanese.



September 6, 2007


Thursday Photo Essay


Might As Well


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Photo Credit)

Download: Paul Anka - "Jump"



Thursday Photo Essay


Pick Any One


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Photo Credit)




In Rotation: Underoos Going Krazy


Here's a quick look at the albums spinning on SkinnySlim's record player this month.

Liars -
Liars
This band is often difficult, grating, arty, and frustrating. They're also often catchy, dancey, brilliant, and kick ass. On their outstanding new one, the Liars are thankfully all of the above, and even thankfullier more of the latter than the former. Plus I'm a sucker for a climax, and "Plaster Casts of Everything" has the best one I've heard in a minute.

UGK - Underground Kingz
I figured when I picked this one up that I wasn't going to hear a better two-plus hour car bumping, braggadocio filled southern rap album all summer. Little did I know I wasn't going to hear a better two-plus hour car bumping, braggadocio filled southern rap album all my life. Sure, it's got filler, but it's much realer than either album you shouldn't be buying next week.

Beck - Guero
Beck's summer one-off, itunes only song "Time Bomb" has been on constant replay (seriously, click buy song on that shit). It's lead to a bit of a Beckian Renaissance on my stereo, including this dopeness from a couple years back that I never gave a fair shake. As Mr. Hansen told me the other day over margaritas, "For shame, SkinnySlim, for shame."



September 4, 2007


And Now A Message From BadmintonStamps International Party Headquarters




I Feel The Need. The Need...For Swede.


Yeah, you heard right. And you know you're feelin' it, too. If the thought of some Scandinavian misbehavian' gets you all hot under the hoodie, but the clusterfuck at Ikea during high noon of college move-in season makes you shudder, then have we got the solution for you: a
totally free show tonight at the church basement with Peter, Bjorn & John. Take your lunch break early and line up outside the First Unitarian. They'll be distributing wristbands and tickets beginning at noon, one per person, on a first-come first-served basis. Cash 'em back in when the doors open at 8:30 tonight, and rock out with your lingonberry sauced-up self. The featured guest for this early autumn gift from MySpace is Nicole Atkins, who we took quite a shine to during her residency at The Fire earlier this year, and who's absolutely gonna kill on the "Young Folks" lady parts.




The Pony Track Goes Back To Work


Comin' atcha first thing every Tuesday morning after Labor Day, it's The Pony Track, a super-fantastic short distance dedication to BadmintonStamps Collective founding member and internationally renowned symbol for musical excellence Aaron "Pony" Child. No fancy links, no clever write-ups, 'cause these awesome songs don't need no splainin'. So c'mon, ride the pony!



SkinnySlim's List



In Rotation...

Liars - s/t Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Is Is White Stripes - Icky Thump
Handsome Furs - Plague Park UGK - Underground Kingz Beck - Guero