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Welcome to BadmintonStamps. We're Philabuster and SkinnySlim, representing Philly and NYC respectively. We are very good looking. Thanks.

May 31, 2007


Upstairs, Downstairs This Weekend In Philly


Tonight, upstairs at
Johnny Brenda's, Plastic Little are hippity-hoppin' along with Philly's original leotard gangstas Sweatheart. Seriously, how have we gone this long without ever posting "Fingerbangin"?

Friday night, Datarock will breathe in the sweaty post-jazzercise funk left behind after the previous night's show at Johnny Brenda's. Then, like some sort of commercial sexjam airliner, they will recycle that air back into an even funkier sparklemotion breeze for your dancing and schvitzing pleasure.

If the local flave is what you crave, the evening also finds SuperToddBros flexin' their usual First Friday spinergy Upstairs at Sal's, this time with some bonus live performances from Bells Bells Bells and everybody's pals Brown Recluse Sings to kick things off proper.

Yeah, you could go check out The National on Saturday night. But really, JB's three nights in a row? And really, The National? Really?

Sunday night, The Pipettes (pic'd) are finally in town, down down down in the church basement. Summer's officially underway, so expect to officially sweat your balls off down there.







Thursday Photo Essay


Cheap Candy


(
Photo Credit)




Thursday Photo Essay


Must Be The Blue Moon


(
Photo Credit)



May 30, 2007


FREE LCD Soundsystem MySpace Show In Philly






Barry Linkdon


Ahh, the link post. How I've missed you so...

In 1987, Oscar winning director Martin Scorsese directed a short film written by Richard Price, produced by Quincy Jones, and starring Wesley Snipes and...Michael Jackson. That's right, I'm talking about the Bad video, long version style (15 minutes). You probably haven't watched it since it premiered on prime time, up against Alf. Lets change that, shall we?
Part 1 and Part 2

Speaking of interesting video stories, Strokes release album a year and a half ago. Make video for "You Only Live Once." Album disappoints. George Lucas crony gets inspired. Cue video number 2. Where I come from, we call this clip Kubrickian. Now if only the White Stripes will do that Barry Lyndon video we'll be all set.

Weird Asia News. Cause you need to know how sick the people taking over the world are.

A Manatee.

Okay, okay. You know you want it. Weird Al Yankovic's "I'm Fat".

Yesterday Philabuster gave you the Zutons' "Valerie." Today SkinnySlim gives you Amy Winehouse's "Valerie." And since I like you guys...new Hot Chip! I say I say, new Hot Chip!



May 29, 2007


The Pony Track's Gonna Come On Over


Comin' atcha first thing every Tuesday after
Spring Bank Holiday, it's The Pony Track, a super-fantastic short distance dedication to BadmintonStamps Collective founding member and internationally renown symbol for musical excellence Aaron "Pony" Child. No fancy links, no clever write-ups, 'cause these awesome songs don't need no splainin'. So c'mon, ride the pony!



May 25, 2007


On Broadway


BadmintonStamps has seen the future and it's named Turning Movies Into Broadway Musicals. First there was The Producers and Lion King, then Hairspray, and now Legally Blonde. These roaring and/or soaring successes of cinema-to-live-performance transference inspired us deeply. So, over the last few months, we've been busy securing the theatrical rights to several high profile films, and are thrilled to announce five new Broadway productions that we hope to have on the Great White Way next season. Here's a preview:

Beverly Hills Cop 3
The showcase acquisition for BadmintonStamps' Musical Division. The original film has all of the elements to make a great movie musical. First off, it's not very good, which means we don't have to concern ourselves with living up to the high standards of the source material or alienating a hardcore fanbase. Second off, insert second reason here. And finally, Judge Reinhold. He reprises the role that made him more famous than he was after Fast Times at Ridgemont High, but less famous than he was after Beverly Hills Cop 1 and 2. Who knew he had the pipes? BadmintonStamps, that's who. All the way to the bank.

Fade to Black
Get ready to place a Tony next your Oscar on the mantel, Jennifer Hudson, because your turn as Timbaland in this musical based on the Jay-Z concert doc will have critics rejoicing, "I've got 99 problems, but this hit ain't one!" Music and lyrics by Tim Rice.

Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
This is not a musical based on the Beatles album. That would cost us some Beatles money, and Beatles money we don't have. Instead we've decided to make a musical version of the late 1970s film version of the Beatles album that starred Peter Frampton and the Bee Gees. Those rights cost us some Peter Frampton and the Bee Gees money, so we gots it for cheap.

Hostel
Maury Goldbergsteinowitz, the head of Badminton's Musical Division, is always telling us that the key to Broadway success lies in following the KKK: Kids, Killers, and Kick-Ass Tunes! Well this baby has it all. A parade of handsome young theater actors sing their hearts out as they slum it at a Rent-like mayhem filled Hostel. "My Love Will Rip Out Your Fingernails" is the Act 1 ending showstopper that'll have you screaming for more!

Birth of a Nation
This one might have been a mistake.



May 24, 2007


Thursday Photo Essay


Low Rider


(
Photo Credit)




Thursday Photo Essay


Swimming With The Devil


(Photo of fanfin seadevil from
The Deep: The Extraordinary Creatures of the Abyss)




Mr. Holland's O-Face


I was watching What About Bob? last night on DVD (yes, I own What About Bob? on DVD). This Frank Oz directed feature stars Richard Dreyfuss as Dr. Leo Marvin, an accomplished psychologist who is tormented to great hilarity by his patient Bob Wiley, played by Bill Murray. Julie Hagerty co-stars in the comedy Roger Ebert gave a "Thumbs Up!" to. Apparently Gene Siskel was too busy having his head up his ass/dying to appreciate the guffaw-worthy antics of the Dreyfuss/Murray tandem. Anyhow, towards the end of the film, Dreyfuss is in the midst of a truly horrific day when a car screeches by and sprays him with mud. Exasperated, the good doctor yells out, "Son of a bitch and mom!" This basically means "Son of a bitch and the bitch herself" and it is possibly the greatest expression known to man. My life was changed as I rewound and watched him utter these magic words over and over again. I naturally wanted to know the origins for such a colorful expression, so I phoned "On Language" scribe William Safire. He did not return my calls. I realized I had to take matters into my own hands and searched thoroughly through my litany of language origin dictionaries and databases, to no avail. And by that I mean I did a google search for "son of a bitch and mom" and came back with zero results. Which, as far as I'm concerned, proves beyond a reasonable doubt that Richard Dreyfuss is the creator of the soon to be classic phrase, "son of a bitch and mom." So thank you Richard, for everything from Jaws to Close Encounters to Another Stakeout to making
this possible, but especially for son of a bitch and mom.



May 23, 2007


SEPTA: We're Getting (Ads) There


We're all familiar with the SEPTA smell, a unique perfume of desperation and fecal matter that has permeated the walls and seat-cushions of busses and rail cars throughout the city. Now, remarkably, the line between our public transit system and a Porta-Potty may be growng thinner still. As the denizens of SEPTA's corporate headquaters at 1234 Market Street scrounge for every last nickel and dime,
one idea being revisited is to wrap the first two stories of the building in advertisements. Initially, this seemed about as bad a plan as, well, the first time they tried it. But after seeing how tastefully advertisers were able to wrap these Johnny-On-The-Spots, I'm willing to make an exception. After all, with the official announcement yesterday that local nu-Kinks standard-bearers The A-Sides have signed to Vagrant Records, the boys finally have a respectable advertising budget to play with. A 30-foot tall Doyle overlooking the city's central artery may be just the sort of zany win-win scenario this newly Nutter-ed Philadelphia and its stinky subway is crying out for.



May 21, 2007


Is Nothing Sacred?


A mother in some town in England was shocked to have her precious little baby boy come home from school singing a
politically correct version of the classic nursery rhyme "Baa Baa Black Sheep." Mom stood astounded as the child replaced the original lyrics with 'Baa baa rainbow sheep', because the school feared the original version promoted racism. "I was really shocked I couldn't believe they'd changed it," the anonymous matriarch said. The nursery school's warped over-sensitive explanation? The school's nursery nurse Roxanne Church claims she's like a sheep following the flock: "In some places you have to follow the first verse baa baa black sheep with one that goes 'baa baa white sheep'...One nursery used a whole range of colours from pink sheep to yellow sheep." Listen bitch, no nursery in its right mind is singing about pink or yellow sheep. It's like what my African American Studies professor once said: "People don't come in green and purple, they come in black and white. Like sheep." The outrage over the bastardized song has lead to the loss of tradition. As the boy's mum commented, "Baa Baa Black Sheep was one of my favourite (sic) songs when I was little and it's a shame if it can't be passed down." What if my imaginary son's school started censoring American nursery favorites? Imagine the shock and shame if my imaginary son came home singing Black Sheep's "The Choice Is Yours", but instead of rapping, "Never was fool, so we finished school/Never see us sweat, and you'll never see us drool," he rapped "Never was fool, so we finished school/Never see us sweat, and rainbow sheep are gay." It would be yet another example of how changing a classic in the name of political correctness can be more offensive than the original intent.




The Pony Track Goes All In Medias Res


Comin' atcha first thing every Monday morning, it's The Pony Track, a super-fantastic short distance dedication to BadmintonStamps Collective founding member and internationally renown symbol for musical excellence Aaron "Pony" Child. No fancy links, no clever write-ups, 'cause these awesome songs don't need no splainin'. So c'mon, ride the pony!



May 17, 2007


Thursday Photo Essay


The Decider


(
Photo Credit)




Thursday Photo Essay


They Don't Love You Like I Love You


(
Photo Credit)




True Links Get Chose By Da Top Notch Hoes


Mets outfield prospect Lastings Milledge, aka L Millz, has
landed in hot water with team management after it was discovered that his collaboration with Manny D titled "Bend Ya Knees" is not, in fact, about the importance of stretching before games. The song and all mentions of it have promptly been removed from the Soul-Ja Boi Records website and official MySpace page. Listen to it now on the unofficial MySpace page.

The Major Leagues would like to remind you that a good Montell Jordan cover never goes out of style.

With his new side project, Dances With White Girls, Philly-gone-Brooklyn DJ Frog continues to flaunt his split geographic allegience, signing to The Rapture's new Throne Of Blood label even as he remixes Philly faux-Phoenix fixtures Hail Social.

Finally, all manner of the very biggest ups to 'Stamps house band The Harlem Shakes, whose Burning Birthdays EP scored a mighty 7.3 on the Pitchfork scale of awesomeness. If you've somehow managed to stave of our endless attempts to make you a fan/cool person, your resistance ends now. Listen to the entire EP right here, and watch for their triumphant, 'Stamps-sponsored return to the 2-1-5 some time later this summer.



May 16, 2007


Why Are Rappers Trying To Steal My Woman?


Rappers are always talking about how they are going to fuck my girl. Why? Please don't do that. It's really wrong to mess with another man's lady, especially someone who is paying money to have you entertain them. Everyone from Snoop to Ghostface, artists that I idolize and promote, claim that if I blink my eyes they will be teaching "my boo" or "my bitch" or "my ho" or "my steady girlfriend" sexual maneuvers beyond my wildest dreams and embarrassing me in front of the entire hip hop community. This really pisses me off and causes great anxiety. Even Chronikill, a rap group consisting of three of my best friends in the world, have a new song where they claim they'll, "Take your girl, then we'll take the train." But you know my girl! She's one of your sisters! Okay, they don't have sisters, but that's not the point. When I get married these guys are going to be in the wedding party, and now I have to worry about them sexifying wifey with their flow 'n beats and then whisking her away on the D train. That's why I like this Mims character. Sure he tells me right there in the hook that I'm not hot like him. But he also claims, "Find me with different women that you niggas never had." Thank you! Mims is going to focus on his own cadre of club chicks with banging bodies; he's not interested in my boo/bitch/ho/steady. Because Mims is a professional, and a professional respects his audience even if that means not having sex with their boo/bitch/ho/steadies.




Mission Accomplished


(
Photo Credit)


Thanks to everybody who came out last Friday night for Mission 300. Shit was totally 100% crazygonuts. But don't take our word for it. Just ask these people. Or her. Or the Spinto Band. And to all those who've wondered, conjectured, or straight-up asked: YES, we will be making this a regular thing! Get ready, Philadelphia, 'cause there's a new party on the scene, and its balls are fucking huge.



May 14, 2007


The Pony Track Praises The Lord


Comin' atcha first thing every Monday morning, it's The Pony Track, a super-fantastic short distance dedication to BadmintonStamps Collective founding member and internationally renown symbol for musical excellence Aaron "Pony" Child. No fancy links, no clever write-ups, 'cause these awesome songs don't need no splainin'. So c'mon, ride the pony!



May 11, 2007


Philly's Got Bowling, NYC's Got Hip Hop At The Tittie Bar


It's tonight, tonight, tonight! Check out the sonic stylings of Chronikill
here. Check out the sonic stylings of Flim Flam here. Check out the other band's sonic stylings herrrrrrr. And remember kiddos, SkinnySlim will be back in his official capacity next week with lots of new posts guaranteed to make it rain on you hoes.








May 10, 2007


Fujiya & Me Yawning


Last week, Philabuster had the distinct pleasure/pain of attending
the oldest new venue in town for the Peter Bjorn & John-headlined triopalooza. A pleasure, because the Swedes in question are spectacularly entertaining, and because their performance of "Young Folks" included a microphone being held by the single sexiest pair of legs in rock this side of Abi Zuton. A pain, because openers Fujiya & Miyagi were some of the most uncharismatic, coma-inducing, funk-fakin' herbs this concert-goer has ever witnessed. A bassist who endlessly repeats the same simple three-note riffs, a front man who may or may not be pretending to play guitar, and a keyboard player who's boring atmospherics grant him the freedom to also serve as backup whisperer. Anyone who tells you they're anything even approaching fun is either lying or very white. In fact, I'm busting out a shiny new bit of 'Stamps terminology just for them: Otisrock. That is, laughably inept attempts at soulfulness that are better suited for the elevator car than the concert hall. This genre is absolutely not to be confused with its antithesis, Rockin' Otis, in which a real man with a real band steps up and tells it like it is. In fact, let's work in a bit of Rockin' Otis right now, just to wash that fishy Fujiya faux-funk out of all our mouths.



May 8, 2007


If Ya Want A Ticket, Ya Gots Ta Click It



May 7, 2007


SkinnySlim Is Busy Sludging Through This Writers Block


SkinnySlim will be out of commission for the next week and a half. In the meantime, he will present some of his favorite songs from the history of time. "Hey," you say, "I want the hysterical and insightful writing of the 'Slim. Why are you cheating me?" Well, my friend, if you don't listen up, the only cheating going on will be the cheating you're doing to yo' self. Sucker.




The Pony Track Is Lovin' This Weather


Comin' atcha first thing every Monday morning, it's The Pony Track, a super-fantastic short distance dedication to BadmintonStamps Collective founding member and internationally renown symbol for musical excellence Aaron "Pony" Child. No fancy links, no clever write-ups, 'cause these awesome songs don't need no splainin'. So c'mon, ride the pony!



May 3, 2007


An Ocean Of Noise This Weekend In Philly


Tonight, Peter, Bjorn & John at the
TLA with Fujiya & Miyagi. Yeah, we called it the TLA. Whactha gonna do about it? Not a god damn thing, that's what.

Tomorrow night, it's First Friday. And that means SuperToddBros spinning you right 'round Upstairs @ Sal's. We know all about this.

Saturday night. Arcade Fire. Tower Theater. If you don't have tickets, for Craig's sake, go and get 'em.




SkinnySlim Is Busy Buying Connies


SkinnySlim will be out of commission for the next week and a half. In the meantime, he will present some of his favorite songs from the history of time. "Hey," you say, "I want the hysterical and insightful writing of the 'Slim. Why are you cheating me?" Well, my friend, if you don't listen up, the only cheating going on will be the cheating you're doing to yo' self. Sucker.




Thursday Photo Essay


Handsome Firs


(
Photo Credit)



May 2, 2007


SkinnySlim is Busy Watching Some Kubrick


SkinnySlim will be out of commission for the next week and a half. In the meantime, he will present some of his favorite songs from the history of time. "Hey," you say, "I want the hysterical and insightful writing of the 'Slim. Why are you cheating me?" Well, my friend, if you don't listen up, the only cheating going on will be the cheating you're doing to yo' self. Sucker.



May 1, 2007


SkinnySlim Is Busy Working Hard


SkinnySlim will be out of commission for the next week and a half. In the meantime, he will present some of his favorite songs from the history of time. "Hey," you say, "I want the hysterical and insightful writing of the 'Slim. Why are you cheating me?" Well, my friend, if you don't listen up, the only cheating going on will be the cheating you're doing to yo' self. Sucker.




Satan Said Ecnad


They say great minds think alike, and I believe them. It certainly explains my frequent compulsion to
stick out my tongue at photographers. It also helps underscore the genius of some of today's finest rock bands. For example, even American Idol contestants know about the rewards awaiting someone who can turn the beat around. But which artists actually posess the moxy, wherewithal, and sheer chutzpah to pull off such a feat? Of course there's Radiohead. Not only did they take one of their songs, reverse it, and then sing new lyrics backwards over it; they even went so far as to release this musical backwardization years before the forward-facing original. That, of course, is why they're the best. Arcade Fire are no Radiohead, but they're no slouches either. While our Canadian heroes don't go to quite the technical lengths of Yorke & Co., they at least had the smarts to realize that 2005's "Crown Of Love" would sound equally amazing even if the structure of the entire song was essentially turned on its head. So they open with the frantic go-go, decelerate into the woe-is-me waltz, then get away under cover of a twinkling fade out. And all without even a hint of a suggestion that you sacrifice house pets or call your mother.



SkinnySlim's List



In Rotation...

LCD Soundsystem - Sound Of Silver Arcade Fire - Neon Bible Klaxons - Myths Of The Near Future
Devin The Dude - Waiting To Inhale Amy Winehouse - Back To Black Panda Bear - Person Pitch


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