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Phoenix - It's Never Been Like That Mission Of Burma - The Obliterati Midlake - The Trials Of Van Occupanther
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Welcome to BadmintonStamps. We're Philabuster and SkinnySlim, representing Philly and NYC respectively. We are very good looking. Thanks.

June 30, 2006


The Friday Freakout: Whoa, What A Feeling


Philly people, let's chat for a second. So how many times over the past two weeks have you been talking with friends about your July 4th plans, and somebody asks "Hey, does anybody even know who's performing at this year's big free concert on the Ben Franklin Parkway?" And somebody else goes, "I dunno...have they even announced it yet?" Yeah, it's been about a dozen times for me, too. So I went and did a little investimagation all on my own, and I found out that yes, they have announced
the line-up. I also found out why neither you, nor I, nor anyone we know has been talking about it. Lionel Richie. Supported by Fantasia. Come awwwwn, Philly! What the fuck is that? I undertsand that trying to top last year's Elton John-Live 8 tandem is a tall order, but this is downright insulting. It's the 4th of July weekend, a time to celebrate everything that's great about our country, and you're gonna hit me with "Dancing on the Ceiling"? Thanks, but I'll probably just go see Superman Returns instead. Not only does Superman stand for truth, justice, and the American way, but he also stands for kick ass rock bands like BadmintonStamps showcase alums and Friday Freakout vets The Sun, who have a song on the new Sound of Superman compilation. Saving the day and saving the music? Now that's what I call justice.







Going Commercial: You're A PC?


Goodby, Silverstein & Partners (the people who brought you Comcastic and the Slowskys) have sprung a truly fantastic new run of spots for computer maker Hewlett-Packard. They're simple, cool, creative, elegant, compelling. In short, they're the ads Apple really should've created first. And since game recognizes game, it's only natural that Jay-Z's gonna star in one:



Where Apple creates a fictional allegory of person as computer, HP focuses on the very real bond between person and computer, a concept which is both easier to relate to and more appealing. The visuals are fantastic, but it's really the personalities that make these spots pop. The celebrities - two other spots feature gold medal snowboarder
Shaun White and Dallas Mavericks owner Marc Cuban - are legitimately interesting, and they speak to the audience in a sincere, familiar way that only draws you in further. While the hipper-than-thou "I'm A Mac" dude comes off as smarmy and condescending, Hova's playin' chess, talkin' sports and cracking inside jokes with us about his retirement. Maybe the mac dude is just bitter that his nerdy PC counterpart is apparently tight with Jay-Z. I mean, can you imagine how much computer camp pussy that must've gotten him back in the day? No wonder he's so good at pie charts.



June 29, 2006


Get Some Fucking Culture: Opera In Rittenhouse Square Tonight


Tonight, from 6:30 to 8:30, Rittenhouse Square will be reverberating with more melisma than you can shake your monacle at.
The event is sponsored by Sunoco and The Philly Airport System, of course. For those of you who think opera is all fat ladies and viking helmets, here's a little diddy about banging over a thousand women. Mozart: the Wilt Chamberlain of the 18th century.






Philly's Flooded With Talent This Weekend


Echo & the Bunnymen are back at the TLA
tonight for what feels like the tenth time in the last year, but is actually probably just the fifth time in the past six months. This time around, they're supported by Boy Kill Boy, a new UK group that sounds like a boy from Maximo Park killing a boy from The Killers. But you'll dance anyway.

Audible (pic'd), who put out a new EP back in April, will be politely rippin' shit up at the Khyber Friday night, along with their Top 8 MySpace friends Shelby.

Saturday night, it's Brazil vs. Argentina (or Portugal vs. Sweden?), as Philly hosts the World Cup Finals of suave dudes with guitars. Seu Jorge strums at the Trocadero, though after Philly's recent monsoon season, Life Aquatic is the last thing I want to think about. Offering the responsible opposing viewpoint, Jose Gonzalez at the World Cafe RFive.

The real jewel is Saturday night's crown, however, is Philly's own A-Sides at the Khyber. Trust me on this one, kids. They know what you need, and they're gonna give it to you.




Thursday Photo Essay


Paid The Cost To Be The Boss





Thursday Photo Essay


Schuylkill River Floatsam




June 28, 2006


Vote For Pedro






Bang Bang: This Day In History, 1914


Excerpted from
History.com:

The archduke and his wife, Sophie, were touring Sarajevo in an open car with little security when Serbian nationalist Nedjelko Cabrinovic threw a bomb at their car. Ferdinand managed to deflect the bomb onto the street, but a dozen people, including Sophie, were injured. Later in the day, the archduke and his wife were driving through Sarajevo's streets again when their driver took a wrong turn onto a street named after the archduke's uncle, Emperor Franz Joseph. As the car slowed to change direction, another Serbian nationalist, Gavrilo Princip, fired his pistol into the car, fatally wounding the archduke and his wife.

It's like they always say, Tradgedy + Time = Comedy Great Rock 'n Roll. Honestly, I think the archduke would be pretty happy. I mean, what would you rather be remembered for: starting World War I, or inspiring one of the greatest rock bands of this decade? R.I.P. Franz Ferdinand, and god bless.



June 27, 2006


And Yes, This Is My Linking Voice


Arcade Fire's
new album will be recorded partially in the Butler's living room, partially in Budapest, and partially along side a "huge fucking pipe organ".

You won't find any Chinese Democracy in a Swedish prison, Axl Rose.

After hearing "You're Beautiful", James Blunt's penis has apparently fallen into a deep Nem-coma.

U.S. Supreme Court Justices to TVT: "Do you honestly expect us to waste our time talking about Ja Rule?"

With 42-year old British television staple Top of the Pops entering it's last month of life, quirky pseudo-punk quintent Art Brut has launched a petition to get itself on the show before it's too late. They also plan to start a petition to make Israel and Palestine get along.




Eggstraordinary Machine


Like a
Terrence Malick film, mankind seems obsessed with the idea of applying industrial design to nature's pure goodness. Take eggs for example. They've been around since at least the chicken, and arguably even before that. Enjoyed as a delicious treat by ancestors as old as the Encino Men, eggs seem an unlikely choice for improvement in our technological age. Still, one marvels at the innovations the last century has brought to the history of the incredible edible egg. We've got microwaveable egg cookers, Benny Hill-esque industrial egg sorters, and discolored, freakishly long egg makers. The phenomenon even inspired 20th Century poet extraordinaire Robert Frost to pen an egg machine-inspired verse. But in a perfect allegory for the flaws of man's technological fixation, egg machines have gone too far. Do you we really need an egg washing machine? Is it too much to ask that we wash, or better yet, not wash an egg manually? Now apples, on the other hand, always need to be washed, especially when they come in the earthy/crunchy/psycho female singer-songwriter variety.



June 26, 2006


Concerning Our So-Called Friend


Dear Brett Myers,

There was a time when we here at BadmintonStamps were legitimate fans of yours. We admired your high heat. Your vicious 12-6 curve. Your never-say-die
eyebrows. Once upon a time, in order to get into Will Smith's swanky Live 8 launch party, we even pretended to be your friends. It was awesome. "How," people would ask for months afterwards, "did you ever manage to get onto that guest list?" And we'd just sip our drinks nonchalantly and mention that oh, you know, we're friends with Brett Myers. Yeah, really. Back since high school in Jacksonville.

In light of recent events, we hereby renounce our fake friendship. The taste of betrayal that now taints our mouths upon speaking your name is as bitter as the caviar at that party was salty or Don Cheadle was charming. The severe lapse in judgement by the entire Phillies organization of actually allowing you to go out and pitch in hallowed Fenway on Saturday (and against Red Sox outfielder Gabe Kapler, no less!) is a discussion for another day. Right now, we just feel tremendously let down by somebody that other people thought we thought we knew. We're usually excellent judges of character, but we obviously made a huge error when we chose to fraudulently associate with you. Who knew you'd be the one to play Domenick Lombardozzi to our Entourage? Rest assured, Brett, we won't be attending any more red carpet affairs as +1's of yours. From now on, we roll with Korver.

You're less than dirt.

Sincerely,
Philabuster




"Dolphins Of Both Sexes Show Exceptionally Creative Play"


Cum shots for tots! Simply classic (via sullivan).

Kelis, Too Short, and a blue poodle = video of the year.

New Luda beef? You decide/get bored. I liked it better when he took on Oprah.

Philabuster still reeling from his snub of not being a reason to move from NYC to Philadelphia.
A reason? I'm THE reason.


The Gay Pride Parade took place thirty feet from my apartment yesterday. Here's a site with a photo of gay giraffes getting it on and a drawing of dolphin salad tossing.

Props to The Summit Diner. Doing more than it knows to keep me sane these past couple of weeks.

Kool & The Gang founding member Claydes Charles Smith celebrating in the big disco in the sky.




The Pony Track Is Back With Black


Comin' atcha first thing every Monday morning, it's The Pony Track, a super-fantastic long distance dedication to BadmintonStamps Collective founding member Aaron "Pony" Child. No fancy links, no clever write-ups, 'cause these awesome songs don't need no splainin'. So c'mon, ride the pony!



June 23, 2006


Nice Shoes, Wanna Friday Freakout?


People are complex creatures. I'll be damned if I could explain my own actions any more than 5% of the time, max. That's why I've always been in such awe of our civilization's great psycho-social theorists. You know the ones: Freud, Jung, Abdul. Yeah, Paula Abdul. Before you snicker, you should take a minute to recognize that when she recorded "Opposites Attract" back in 1988, girlfriend was spittin' some straight-up knowledge. For a current case study, just look at the most recent fruit of her phone-voting loins, American Idol champ Taylor Hicks. The awkward middle-aged white dude non pareil was most recently spotted in Birmingham, Alabama, sharing the stage with none other than the
one-man contraband himself, Snoop Dogg. Yes, this spectacular collision of Dogg Pound and Soul Patrol was caught on video, and yes, the chemistry betwen the two is obvious. Same thing with the new Bleached Black party this Saturday night at Medusa Lounge. You'd think MongoRock and MonsterBoogie would go together like paisley and plaid, but by some strange trick o' the light (or perhaps just several $3 PBR & whiskey shot specials), they take two steps forward, then two steps back, then start furiously making out and groping each other right there in front of you. Go figure. I don't know if this punchy little number from Good Shoes is more Mongo or Monster, but it's definitely all Friday Freakout, and a pretty attractive one at that.



June 22, 2006


Thursday Photo Essay


Boo, Ye Maties!





Thursday Photo Essay


'Tis The Season




June 21, 2006


Round Mound Of Role Model


Sir Charles has finally
weighed in on all the "Crazy"ness, calling Gnarls Barkley "pretty good, an interesting mix of rock and rap." Nice enough, 'till you consider that people were saying the same thing about Limp Bizkit six years ago. But then the man goes on to say he's "flattered and honored" that the duo chose to name themselves after him. Whoa there, fella! Gettin' a little presumptuous here, aren't we? The two musicians made it quite clear back in April that the 1993 MVP had in no way inspired them regarding their choice of band name. They do admit, however, that he totally inspired them to spit on little girls. Ah, that Charles - always setting a good example for the rock/rap artists of today.




Link Him An Offer He Can't Refuse


Beanie Sigel is
a marked man, maybe. Was the Philly rapper really cornered a la Sonny Corleone? And if so, does this mean Freeway will go into hiding in Sicily?

Hold the phone...You're telling me James Blunt's music helped a little girl wake up from a coma???

Diddy don't take shit from nobody. Not even Firecrotch.

Margot & The Nuclear So And So's keyboardist and harmonizer Emily Watkins is an atomic cutie (peoples' evidence exhibit A, B, C, and D). But don't ask her to "blog", 'cause the girl just ain't about that anymore.



June 20, 2006


Exit Music (For A Bassist)


Parents, don't let your children grow up to be bass players. You'll only be setting them up for heartache when they're fired after getting their first taste of success. All the rest of the band needs is a good excuse. Fat fatty Andy Nicholson
had trouble keeping up with the intense physical demands of international touring with the Arctic Monkeys, and was rumored to have blown over half of the band's tour budget on sweat towels. One brief stint with a svelte bassist later, and the other A-Monks have voted their best bud off the island for good, the latest addition to a veritable "who's who" list of never-was's. Ex-Panic! At The Disco bassist Brent Wilson was always more interested in smooth-talking the ladies than maintaining the perfect emo 'do, so the band sacked him on the eve of a lucrative cross-country tour. Hair was also the downfall of Shawn Neary, whose radiant blonde curls were the object of intense jealousy among the rest of the Tapes 'n Tapes posse. Who knows what the problem was with Snow Patrol co-founder Mark McClelland, though after hearing the band's new album, I'm guessing he probably stuck out as being too masculine. Having a brother in the band may help with bass job security. Outside of that, I'd suggest taking up an instrument that's less prone to turnover.




Exit Music (For A Bush)


Hey, did you hear the one about the Bush twin at the Radiohead show?
No joke. Apparently, either Jenna or (more likely) Barbara was in attendance with six bodygaurds at MSG last Wednesday night, but wasn't feeling the band's final number and decided to beat the foot traffic instead. So, for the record, even the band's explicit and well-documented hatred of her father wasn't enough to drive the first daughter away from the best concert of the year. I ask you: is there anything Radiohead can't get away with? I mean, it must be nice to know that you can go on record as detesting a person and all that they stand for, yet be so undeniably talented that said whipping boy's own children are willing to turn the other cheek and submit to twenty-three-and-a-half songs' worth of musical hate fucking. Remarkable as the story is, it also comes as a crushing blow to New York electro-groovers Out Hud. Despite their generous offer of two lifetime guest list spots, the band has been repeatedly snubbed by the President's progeny on every tour. It seems even the first family's capacity for ol' fashioned Christian forgiveness falls short when it comes to epistolatory song titles.



June 19, 2006


Roasting Links On A Spit


Hype Williams, DMX, and Nas prep
Belly sequel, to be called...wait for it...Beast. According to DMX, "We're starting this one off how the last one ended." So that means, badly?

Dom Perignon sales to skyrocket.

Kayne West claims he dropped the "best line of the year" on the Back Like That remix. The line in question: "Second I walk in, the whole room got still/ I don't know how to put this but, I'm kind of a big deal." And why exactly is that the best line of the year, Kayne? "I hit them with a line from Anchorman!"

Be on the lookout for the new Kayne produced Common album featuring only jazz flute beats, cause, as Veronica Corningstone says, "Jazz flute is for little fairy boys."

Best line of 1998? "Show me a word that rhymes with Pavement and I won't kill your parents and roast them on a spit."


'Stamper BML goes in depth with guitarist Ed O'Brien about the secrets of a Radiohead setlist.

Sheep.

No Friday Jazzout last week means a special bonus Monday Jazzout this week.




Pony Track Like Dragon Lady Very Much


Comin' atcha first thing every Monday morning, it's The Pony Track, a super-fantastic long distance dedication to BadmintonStamps Collective founding member Aaron "Pony" Child. No fancy links, no clever write-ups, 'cause these awesome songs don't need no splainin'. So c'mon, ride the pony!



June 16, 2006


The Friday Freakout's Naked From The Waist Down


Pants are perhaps the most singularly important aspect of the human condition. While the rest of god's creatures dart about the wild in nothing but their birthday suits, civilization has demanded a base level of universal two-legged modesty from which none of us are exempt. No surprise then that the relationship between man and his pants has always been a contentious one. The modern chapter in the long struggle for leg liberation finds its beginnings in 1794, during the French Revolution. Poor farm owners and tradesmen
refused to wear their stifling britches during the hot summer month of Thermidor, standing pantsless for hours in front of their open refrigerators. Energy use went through the roof, and the ensuing crisis lead to the beheading of the monarchy. The entire affair was comedically chronichled over a century later by silent film director Phillips Smalley, including a hilarious guillotine scene that called for the first-ever use of slide whistle in a film score. These days, the protest has found its way on to college campuses, spawning an official No Pants Day. And now, thanks to Men Without Pants, a brilliant collaboration between Russel Simins and Dan "The Automator" Nakamura, future revolutionaries will have a truly Friday Freakout-worthy rallying cry to blast during their holiday. Just imagine Blur's "Crazy Beat", but with less pants. Have a listen, then strip down and hit the town, 'Stampers, 'cause the weekend's here.


And for all those who realize how foolish they looked during No Pants Day '06, here's a bonus freakout just for you.



June 15, 2006


Thursday Photo Essay


The Future Is Today





Thursday Photo Essay


Just Don't Look Down




June 14, 2006


Listen! To! Me!


As The The cleverly suggested over two decades ago, following a band-naming trend just makes you look stupid. Which is why I've had it
with all these exclamation point bands! I mean, how terribly safe, boring, or otherwise thrill-free must your group actually be if you're depending on excessive punctuation marks to lend it the illusion of excitement? Perhaps these people think that mediocre reviews of their live show or record will appear to be more positive, since the write-up will be chock full of !'s. Maybe they're hoping that people will feel compelled to shout the band's name loudly during conversations, thereby out-buzzing all those exclamation-free suckers toiling away in indoor voice obscurity. Whatever the reason, it comes across as a pathetic cry for attention, like TYPING IN ALL CAPS or streaking at the company picnic. !'s should be employed only by those bands whose music actually warrants them. !!! has certainly earned all three, especially after last Saturday night. On the other hand, uber-blogged pansies du jour Oh No!! Oh My!! are about as deserving of exclamation as a bowl of plain oatmeal. I just hope the next wave of indie hopefuls manage to see the light. Otherwise, we may be hearing about twee-emo four piece HEAVY!! SIGH!! sooner than we think!




The War Between The States


Whoever said, "Sticks and stones can break my bones but words won't hurt me", never read about the Great Michigan/Florida War of 1835. The brouhaha began when Governor
Stevens T. Mason changed Michigan's state motto to "If You Seek a Pleasant Peninsula, Look Around." This prompted Florida, brimming with peninsula pride, to change their motto from "The Fountain of Youth" to "Fuck Michigan". The State Legislature of Michigan then proposed the new motto, "Michigan: An Erect Penis, As Opposed to the Flaccid Penis Florida Has On." The resolution was narrowly defeated after the Michigan Grammar Police convinced voters that State mottos cannot end in a preposition. But the die was cast and war was declared. The States' armies met in the neutral ground of Tennessee. Not pleased at hosting the battle, Tennessee changed their motto to "Peninsulas Are For Gays". This led the (then) nation-state of Fire Island to declare war on Tennessee, deploying an army of flamboyantly-clad soldiers to the South. Instead of fighting, these warriors sauntered around the State, snapping their fingers dramatically while whispering, "Fire", as if they were in a Bob Fosse musical (which, in fact, many were). The surprising tactic caught all parties off guard, a truce was declared, and peace between the North and South has remained ever since.



June 13, 2006


Rothko Is No-Go


NYC rock venue
Rothko, which, on the whole, kept it pretty real, has apparently closed its doors for good. The 'Stamps boys have fond memories of some great performances at the club, not the least of which was Hot Chip's North American debut. Sucks that the last act to grace the room's insides was Blues Traveler. It deserved better.




Fourteen Candles


Download: Pulp - "TV Movie"

That lovely, heartbreaking track is from This Is Hardcore, which features a memorable album cover created by graphic design guru Peter Saville (check his portfolio here). One of Saville's best known works is the iconic design for New Order's Power, Corruption & Lies. My favorite song on that album is "Age of Consent".


Win Butler and company recently covered the tune, which could have scored the climax to the best John Hughes movie never made.


How I love those Arcade Fires! Almost as much as R. Kelly loves pissing on underage girls. The "age of consent" in Florida is 17, but that didn't keep Robert from relieving himself on a 14 year old. Thankfully the judge just decided that the videotape can be viewed by the media and public, which means it will soon be available for all of our enjoyment. Pissing on an underage girl? This is hardcore indeed.




Starbucks Seduction


Here's some really critical advice for all you first daters out there. The good old "we should grab a drink some time" two-step simply ain't where it's at any more. Between the drinks, the noise, and the distractingly hot bartender, who knows what you're even saying to one another? Why you'd need some sort of...oh, I don't know...
Drunk Dictionary to decipher all those innebriated innuendos and boozey double-meanings. That's why, when I'm steppin' out with a honey for the first time, I head straight for the coffee shop. See, recent studies demonstrate that caffeine causes people to be easily swayed by persuasive arguments. So instead of shots of Jager, I hook the little lady up with a double shot of espresso. Then I whip out the index cards, ven diagrams, and 15-minute powerpoint presentation detailing just how thoroughly I'd like to rock her world. By the time I start in on the comprehensive actuarial analysis of my bedroom, that pungent little Columbian micky has totally done its job. Try it out for yourself and thank me later. Oh, and as an extra classy touch, make sure to have another pot of that black gold brewing when she wakes up the next morning. Trust me, 'Stampers, 'cause I know exactly what I'm doing.



June 12, 2006


Life's A Pitch And Then You Link or 40 Days And 40 Links


Rhianna knows a good opportunity when she sees one. Christina Milian passed on recording smash-hit "S.O.S.", and now she's been
dropped from Def Jam.

Rhianna knows a good opportunity when she sees one. Her alone time with 40-year old(???) Def Jam prez Jay-Z at the 40/40 Club has got people talkin' forty kinds of rumors about a possible Beyonce betrayal.

Embrace learned the hard way that even in a country that actually cares about soccer, people would still rather listen to Nelly Furtado.

USA goal keeper Kasey Keller learned the hard way that having twenty feet in front of him just ain't enough if they're only gonna stand still. Next time, we suggest forty. Whatever it takes to keep the man happy and save the lives of innocent mascots.


Plus, mid-week concert round-up: Tonight, Dungen at the church basement, and Eels w/ Smoosh at the TLA. Tuesday, Starlight Mints at North Star. Wednesday, Sonic Youth at Starlight Ballroon, and Buzzcocks at North Star.



The Pony Track Lovlies Up This Old Neighborhood


Comin' atcha first thing every Monday morning, it's The Pony Track, a super-fantastic long distance dedication to BadmintonStamps Collective founding member Aaron "Pony" Child. No fancy links, no clever write-ups, 'cause these awesome songs don't need no splainin'. So c'mon, ride the pony!



June 9, 2006


You Absolutely Reek Of Friday Freakout


Recently, many hotels and retailers have begun inundating their boutiques, hallways and lobbies with
specially formulated scents. The aromas are intended to help the consumer form strong associations with a particular brand and create a "sense of place". Personally, I'm a bit surprised it's taken these big businesses so long to exploit the physiological connection between scent and memory, especially when mom & pop outfits have been doing it for ages. Since I can remember, the pizza restaurant around the corner from me has been ingeniously perfuming the air inside their establishment with a distinctive pizza scent, and I'll be damned if I've ever forgotten what they sell. And sure, you can get fucked up and start dancing just about anywhere. But when you breathe in that pungent mixture of Sparks, tobacco, and sweaty American Apparel, well my friend, then you KNOW you're at Making Time. This Saturday night at Trasnit marks the 6-year anniversary of all that is cocainesexjam-y. And with sets on tap from LD Section II (the live incarnation of Lansing-Dreiden) and headlining Friday Freakout poster children !!!, we're talkin' at least six times that same smell. Breathe deep, dance hard and get rad, 'Stampers.




The Friday Jazzout


Allmusic says: Few R&B singers have endured tragic travails on the monumental level that Etta James has and remain on earth to talk about it. The lady's no shrinking violet; her autobiography, Rage to Survive, describes her past (including numerous drug addictions) in sordid detail. But her personal problems have seldom affected her singing. James has hung in there from the age of R&B and doo wop in the mid-'50s through soul's late-'60s heyday and right up into the '90s and 2000s...In concert, Etta James is a sassy, no-holds-barred performer whose suggestive stage antics sometimes border on the obscene. She's paid her dues many times over as an R&B and soul pioneer; long may she continue to shock the uninitiated.




God Bless The Booty


The year was 1993, and a confused nation was wondering just exactly where it was. Just like Lincoln or Another Historical Figure before them, 95 South and Tag Team answered the call, this time in song. 95 South struck first, dropping their unrelenting banger "Whoot! There It Is". The opening seconds feature an
old white man asking, "Excuse me Sonny, do you know where I can find some booty?!?"; it's a fiery call to arms that masterfully sets up the call-and-response electro thump that follows. Excluding the bizarre Kid A-esque breakdown halfway in, Tag Team was able to smooth out 95 South's edges with their "Whoop! There It Is". More than simply replacing a T with a P, the Team applied traditional songwriting and a more palatable welcoming intro, the to-the-point "Party People!!!", to 95 South's winning formula. It's no wonder that Tag Team's version became the cross-over hit still played in sports stadiums to this day. So who "won" the "Whoo_! There It Is" battle? 95 South got the street cred, Tag Team got the money, and that old white man got the booty, but in the end the true winner was the US of A.



June 8, 2006


Free Parking




Thursday Photo Essay


An Inconvenient Ruth





Thursday Photo Essay


Do Your Thing, Honey!





Billy Preston, R.I.P.


All time great and rock and roll great
Billy Preston has gone to play that big keyboard in the sky. He is best known for his work with the Beatles and Stones, co-writing "You Are So Beautiful", and for his Grammy-winning album Outa-Space. In addition, he played with Sly Stone, Bob Dylan, and pretty much anybody that kept it real in the 60s and 70s. Rock on with your bad self, Mr. Preston. You shall be missed.










June 7, 2006


Gmanute Bol


Gnarls Barkley sucks. I really wish I could get behind them; it's a great concept, the Charles Barkley reference is clever, and Cee-Lo and Danger Mouse are likable cats. But the album is pretty weak. And as for their much-buzzed about (and undeniably good) hit "Crazy", the truth is, it isn't quite as "fucking awesome, the new 'Hey Ya'" as people think. I was at a party the other night with all the hot young hipsters sweating it up on the dancefloor. Those opening chords kicked in and the feverish crowd let out a huge roar of anticipation, ready to lose their shit. And then...everyone stopped dancing. They just stood around looking awkward, waiting for some LCD Soundsystem or Snoop Dogg to drop and saying things like, "Gnarls Barkley, really funny name". I witnessed with my own eyes five separate hook-ups die during those three long minutes. That's right kids, Gnarls Barkley hate the playa and the game. And that's why, when I need Philadelphia 76er-influenced jams, I turn to Kenn Kweder. His mindblowing ode to seven-foot-seven phenom and bare-handed lion killer Manute Bol is guaranteed to get the party jumping.


Thanks to our boy D-Mac over at PWD for turning us on to this classic.

Also, thanks to Manute Bol for simply refusing to stop at seven-foot-six.


June 6, 2006


Going Commercial: You Want Me To Buy What?


Growing up in New England, you quickly learn that Dunkin Donuts isn't just a donut shop; it's an institution. As the company pushes forward into new geographic frontiers as part of their ambitious expansion strategy, they've begun assaulting the airwaves with a new
batch of quirky ads from Hill Holiday, all soundtracked by Bay State nerdrockers They Might Be Giants. The spots are a mixed bag, but this one in particular has gotten my critical goose:



This may be the single most memorable, logical, and generally compelling pitch I've ever seen for a mini van. They sell you from every angle: the spacious interior, the bird's eye view of the sleek design, the side thru-shot highlighting the dual sliding doors. They convey a complete story with a beginning, middle and end, even pre- and post-text, all in a minescule sliver of time, masterfully woven around the innumerable virtues of this marvelous vehicle. Apparently, the only thing there wasn't "plenty of room" for was any sort of connection to the product they're actually trying to sell. The totally off-message song is the final gaffaw of a spot that ultimately has as little to do with cool java as it does with cool ca va, whatever that is. All I know is, I'm missing Fred the Baker.




FYI...


You already know about SkinnySlim's passion for palendromes
semordromes. What you don't know is that I, too, have a literary infatuation, one that began way back during my childhood SCUBA lessons. I'm all about acronyms. Why do you think I bother going to shows at the TLA? It ain't so I can spend $4 on a PBR, I'll tell you that much. But while your basic initialisms are all well and good, what really gets me going are compound acronyms. I'm talking about acronyms whose initials represent other acronyms. That's why, even though I hate instant messaging, I love AIM. See, the "A" stands for "AOL", itself an acronym for "America Online", which makes the whole thing meta as a motherfucker. It's like a riddle wrapped inside an enigma, but abbreviated. With its capcity to condense so much meaning into such a compact form, it's no wonder the acronym has become an important and versatile tool for the modern lyricist. Giant Drag uses one to deal with an Elektra complex, while the gang from Staten Island forged a classic to decry the evils of capitalism. And of course, years before they progressed to palendromic song tiles, Elastica were still up to the same old fucking thing as always: rocking unusually hard. I suggest downloading all three tunes ASAP.



June 5, 2006


The Twin Train


After The Radioheads rocked me, the night became a blur. I know it involved heavy drinking, heavy lifting, and heavy flirting/petting with a pair of interracial twins. You might be thinking, "Way to go, SkinnySlim, I love multiracial girls!" Nah, nah, yo. That's not what I'm talking about. One of the girls was white like ivory and the other one was black like
Miriam Makeba. That's right, I not only kicked it to twins, I kicked it to a multi-fathered melting pot freakshow of twindom. How is this possible? If a woman has sex with two different partners within a very short span (i.e. they "run the train" on her), two eggs can get fertilized, leading to fraternal twins from different fathers. The official term is superfecundation. The first documented case occurred in 1810, when a white woman had sex with a both a black and white man. Since there were no trains back then, the slang term was "running the steamboat". In modern sexual slang "running the steamboat" refers to something entirely different, and quite fun, although it requires a lot of cleaning supplies. Anywho, because I've already posted "Ebony and Ivory" and "Black or White", I'll give you one by the Glimmer Twins and one by the Ying Yang Twins (and thanks Scott for the tip).




Thom Yorke Don't Take No Jive


Radiohead got this soul album coming out. At least that's what I could gather from many of the impressive new songs they played last Friday at the Tower Theater. And when I say soul, I ain't talking 'bout no
Jamie Foxx. I'm talking about Radiohead, plus some funky electro grooves, beautiful vocals, and black female back-up singers, all without the hassle of black female back-up singers. A couple (15 Step, Arpeggi) sounded like Hot Chip if Hot Chip all of a sudden grew up and became Radiohead, which is alright with me. As for the concert itself, the best band in the world successfully defend their title. It's also a pleasure to see them in good spirits. I remember catching them a couple times off the OK Computer tour and they seemed absolutely miserable to be there, but each time I've seen them since they're more jolly than ever. And why not? They're Radiohead for godsakes, the best British electronic rock soul band you'll ever know. Also, big ups due to 'Buster for hooking the whole thing up, fifth row style.

Hey, we Badminton. We come correct or not at all. Not really too much I need to add here, except to say that when you've spent the past week obsessing over the group's new shit - which direction they're going in next, what barriers they're going to break, which classic vestiges of rock they're going to piss all over and hold up in a blinding moment of revalatory brilliance - well, that's when the old stuff hits you like a ton of bricks. The encore rendition of "Black Star" was totally unexpected, and may be the most stupendously epic performance I've ever witnessed.




The Pony Track Is Up For The Down Stroke


Comin' atcha first thing every Monday morning, it's The Pony Track, a super-fantastic long distance dedication to BadmintonStamps Collective founding member Aaron "Pony" Child. No fancy links, no clever write-ups, 'cause these awesome songs don't need no splainin'. So c'mon, ride the pony!



June 2, 2006


I'm Sprache? Dude, Ursprache!


It should come as no surprise that during my educational years I was quite the student. Math, Science, Woodshop...you name, I did it. But like kryptonite to that superhero guy, my only weakness was spelling. That's why I watch the
Scripps National Spelling Bee with a sense of awe and jealousy. Last night's competition was as heated as ever, filled with vigilant arm writing, controversial re-instatements, Indian shame, and bizarre auto-asphyxiation rituals. Besides mocking the boys (and girls) for their desperate pube-staches, my favorite part is judging competitors on their hobbies. "Table Tennis and Chess"? Indoor kid. "Shopping and Horseback Riding"? Queen bitch. "Having people throw things in my mouth and catching them no matter how hard it is" ? Uhh...ahomosayswhat? But the winner of best hobbies was eighth place finisher Michael Christie, whose interests are collecting rocks and badminton. Way to go, Michael, you are now an honorary BadmintonStamper! That's a hellalot better than winning some herbed-out spelling bee. Cause here at the 'Stamps, we won't judge you for spelling apenzel with two l's, we're just gonna smoke that...wait, seriously, he spelled apenzel with two l's? Fucking dumbass.




The Friday Jazzout


Allmusic says: "Sidney Bechet was the first important jazz soloist on records in history (beating Louis Armstrong by a few months). A brilliant soprano saxophonist and clarinetist with a wide vibrato that listeners either loved or hated, Bechet's style did not evolve much through the years but he never lost his enthusiasm or creativity...Bechet was such a dominant player that trumpeters found it very difficult to play with him. Bechet wanted to play lead and it was up to the other horns to stay out of his way."

Keith Shadwick's Jazz Guide says: "Bechet, born into New Orleans Creole society from a musical family was decidedly precocious in his assimilation of clarinet techniques and early jazz styles: by 1910 [at age 13] he was already working casually with regular bands."




The Friday Freakout's A Little Preoccupied


The 'Stamps boys have places to go and people to see. We'll return you to your regularly scheduled nuggets of blog genius on Monday morning.
















June 1, 2006


2 + 2 = Lotsa Hot Philly Shows This Weekend


Tonight, uh, DUH! Radiohead? Tower Theater? Ringin' any bells, Einstein? Besides that, you've got your
regulation $8 Philly clusterfuck over at First Unitarian, with Hail Social and US Funk Team causing most of the trouble.

Friday night, trippy hip hop splice-master Prefuse 73 fucks with your mind and body at the church basement. He'll be accompanied by North America's preeminent psychadelic rhymespitter Edan, still the only rapper out there with enough sack to diss Lenny Kravitz. Also, Radiohead part deux.

Saturday night, it's all 'bout the Khyber, where ambiguously local Human Television will be pimping their tunes like a QVC host. For the next 5 minutes through this very special offer, it's just $8 to get inside. Whether or not you stick around afterwards for Tralala is entirely your business.

Sunday night, the love train is stopping at the TLA, and those dancing silhouettes are saying you've GOT to get back on. Wolfmother, wolfbitches. Also, down in the bowels of the basement, The Fever will be rockin' with authority. Choose wisely, 'Stampers.




Thursday Photo Essay


Return Of The Pink Elephant





Thursday Photo Essay


Juiced Up




Music posted on this site is for sampling purposes only. If you enjoy the songs posted here, please go out and buy the records! If you are the copyright holder of any material posted here and would like it taken down, please contact Philabuster, and your request will be honored immediately. Please do not direct link to any of these songs. Thanks for your cooperation, and enjoy the sounds.

SkinnySlim's List



In Rotation...

Ghostface Killah - Fishscale The Walkmen - A Hundred Miles Off Guided By Voices - Bee Thousand
Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Show Your Bones The Futureheads - News & Tributes Arctic Monkeys - Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not