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In Rotation...

Phoenix - It's Never Been Like That Lansing-Dreiden - The Dividing Island The Zutons - Tired Of Hanging Around
The Raconteurs - Broken Boy Soldiers The Field Mice - Snowball The Grates - Gravity Won't Get You High












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Welcome to BadmintonStamps. We're Philabuster and SkinnySlim, representing Philly and NYC respectively. We are very good looking. Thanks.

May 31, 2006


A Linkin' In The Sun


P. Diddy is
set to adapt the greatest ever mama-on-the-couch play for TV. The film will be preceded by a multi-part MTV casting special, "Making Da Raisin," in which Phylicia Rashad will compete with hot blonde teen newcomers for the role of Mama.

What's Paris Hilton's record going to sound like? Storch Jah only knows...

File under "Funny 'cause it's true": James Blunt banned from radio.

J'Aime Tambeur sets new world record for "Most Questionable Pitchfork Crushes Quit" at two, leaves Islands.

Jon Favreau horns in on Ghostface's territory, dishes about directing Ironman. "He also confirmed he plans to go for an unknown for the role." So...Jon Favreau then?







Viva La Pornama!


Look, I'm just going to be real with you; I like porn. The naked bodies in heat, funny orgasmic expressions, and blatant degradation really whet my whistle. Not to mention the plotlines. In fact the only thing I like more than porn is my native land of
Panama. The constitutional democracy, 109 airports, prolonged rainy season and major cocaine transportation points really whet my whistle. Not to mention the Canal. And what do you know? Now I can enjoy my two favorites pastimes all at once. It seems that my fatherland is undergoing something of a porn craze (nsfw). We've got teachers exchanging grades for sex, major newspapers printing explicit photos, and even homegrown gay websites popping up. Listening to the fabulously funky new compilation of Panamanian grooves found on Panama! Latin, Calypso & Funk On The Isthmus 1965-1975, it's easy to understand why the country has gone all Peter North on us. These songs are so blazing that there's nothing to do but get naked, make funny orgasmic expressions, and blatantly degrade oneself.


And by Panamanian law, you can't post about the country without putting this one up:



May 30, 2006


BlackBarry White


Michael Jackson is a lunatic, but you gotta give 'em a break when it comes to his skin. Clearly Jacko got a case of Michael Jackson Disease, clinically known as
vitiligo (for those not riding the NYC transit system, let me assure you this disease does exist). Instead of having his extremities (see: hands, penis) all splotchy, he decided to match his skin with the deformed, "freaky" parts. It's kinda like that time I got gravy on my t-shirt and decided the best solution was to dip the entire shirt into the gravy. Thanksgiving was never the same, but I still wear that brown tee to this day. A less well known condition is Reverse Michael Jackson Disease, aka Rejacko Disorder, in which a white man will slowly turn black. This phenomena struck another 1980s celebrity: C Thomas Howell. Even rarer than Reverse Michael Jackson Disease is Reverse Michael Jackson Disease of the Throat (or Vocal Rejacko Disorder). In this case, a white man's voice becomes black. One prime example is NBA also-ran Keith Van Horn, who sounds like a darker Barry White. Another famous case? Steve Winwood, who was struck as a 17 year old while fronting The Spencer Davis Group.



May 29, 2006


Living The Stream: Sonic Youth - Rather Ripped


Unless you're some new type of genetically enhanced super-fool, you know that Sonic Youth is playing in
a town near you next month to promote their new album Rather Ripped. The album hits stores June 13th, which leaves fans here in New York and Philly hardly any time at all to familiarize themselves with Thurston & Co.'s latest greatests before the live show. To rectify the situation and assist all our fellow 'Stampers in completing their due rock dilligence, please help yourself to our stream of the full album, now available for a limited time in the blue radioblog located at the upper left corner of the site. And once you're done rocking out, pre-order your very own copy here.



The Pony Track's Got A Day Off


Comin' atcha first thing every Monday morning, it's The Pony Track, a super-fantastic long distance dedication to BadmintonStamps Collective founding member Aaron "Pony" Child. No fancy links, no clever write-ups, 'cause these awesome songs don't need no splainin'. So c'mon, ride the pony!



May 26, 2006


The Year's Most Serious Update


First off, if you still haven't seen the video that I co-directed for Chronikill, check it
here. Also, you guys should really make it out this Saturday night to see Chronikill live. They play the Pussycat Lounge, which is one of the cooler/more interesting venues in the city. It's a funny room and this show will be hot with seventeen t's. It starts at 11:30pm and is located on 96 Greenwhich between Rector and Carlisle. See you there.


Btw, with so many SkinnySlim posts today, there's no Friday Jazzout this week. I think you'll live.



The Friday Freakout's Slipping You Some Foreign Tongue


Forget terrorism. If there's one thing we know how to defend against here in the US, it's bad breath. Just recently, Listerine released its newest innovation, the
Listerine PocketMist, which brings the total number of different breath-freshening products available at your local convenience store to about 2,174. Nonethless, this product addresses a crucial niche market of people for whom mouthwash is too time-consuming, gum too pedestrian, and who lack the saliva-generating capacity needed to properly dissolve Oral Care Strips (the albinos of the drooling world). While the French may not be as well-known for their personal aroma, they at least know how to release minty fresh music. Which is why we all owe a big "thank you" to Beth at Minty Fresh, a label I previously knew only as distributors of the French uber-popsters Tahiti 80, for tipping us off to The Prototypes. This is the first time I've ever used an e-mailed submission as a Friday Freakout, a situation made even more extraordinary when you consider the fact that I have absolutely no fucking idea what these people are saying. But when you can bust out Hives guitar riffs, LCD hand claps, and Go! Team chant-alongs, then dress it all up in Yeah Yeah Yeahs attire, the bloggers are gonna bite, and groupies will probably want to fuck you no matter what you're saying or how bad your breath smells.




Philly's 3-Step Weeeknd Plan: Drink, Rock, Repeat


Beer is here! Miller Light
is presenting The Walkmen tonight at the TLA, along with local boys turned cover subjects Mazarin. Whatever you do, TLA patrons, don't confuse this with Monday night's Miller Taste Express Tour. Otherwise, you'll get a craw full o' DeGraw instead.

Traditions is traditions, people. On New Year's Eve, you get drunk and promise to quit smoking. On July 4th, you get drunk and shoot off illegal fireworks. And on May 27th, you get drunk and go see The Teeth play at the Khyber. Same as it ever was.




Musical Classroom: Rock Diss Tracks


In this weeks edition of Musical Classroom, allow SkinnySlim to present some good ol' guitar-based beef.

Song: Pavement - "Range Life"

Background: In the mid nineties, overwrought mainstream bands like the Stone Temple Pilots and The Smashing Pumpkins shared the "alternative" label with cred-obsessed indie bands like Superchunk and Pavement. Being the super-cool indie kids' super-cool indie kid, it was Stephen Malkmus' job to hate these mainstream poseurs. Malkmus expressed his slacker disdain in "Range Life". Corgan was none to pleased, and called out Pavement in a Rolling Stone cover story. It is rumored that Corgan was instrumental in keeping Pavement off of their headlining Lollapalooza gig. It was also humorously rumored that Pavement sideman Bob Nastonovich once drove Billy Corgan to the airport and Corgan was very rude.

The Diss: Malkmus sings, "Out on tour with the Smashing Pumpkins, nature kids/I, they don't have no function/I don't understand what they mean and I could really give a fuck/The Stone Temple Pilots, they're elegant bachelors/They're foxy to me, are they foxy to you? I will agree it isn't absolutely nothing, nothing more than me". This last line seemed to get lost on Corgan (STP were too junked out to notice the diss at all). Interestingly, the diss was not present on an alternative take from the same session.




Musical Classroom: Rock Diss Tracks


In this weeks edition of Musical Classroom, allow SkinnySlim to present some good ol' guitar-based beef.

Song: Belle & Sebastian - "The Boy With The Arab Strap"

Background: This is a hysterically absurd beef involving two twee Scottish bands that share a producer (Tony Doogan) and a wimpy literary fanbase. The groups performed shows together and seemed to get along quite smashingly. But then Belle released this song and the Strap were none to pleased,
claiming that the reference "ain't cricket." Oh boy. Matador records, home to both bands, was rumored to be upset not only with the Strap track but also Belle's decision to title their album after the song.

The Diss: Lead singer Stuart Murdoch is shocked to see his lady friend "Layed on your back with the boy with the arab strab, with the boy from The Arab Strap." Snap! That means the guy from the Arab Strap can't get a woodie. As the song fades out, Stuart Murdoch yarbles something about London's cool set and Hit Parade and probably how my grandmother could kick his ass with her pinky. Good song, though.



May 25, 2006


Thursday Photo Essay


Weird Science





Thursday Photo Essay


Eric Burdon





Going Commercial: We Also Hate Ben Affleck


Most any Red Sox fan will tell you that, as tightly knit a group as we are, there's still a couple of wicked retaads we wouldn't mind kicking off the bandwagon. Case in point: Jimmy Fallon. Only our knowledge that the Yankee fan base includes both Billy Crystal and Hitler gives us any reprieve at all over this one. After his departure from SNL, we all hoped Fallon would retreat from the public eye and return to his earlier pursuit: jacking off to mid-90's Adam Sandler comedies (Boston's so-called "
Jimmy Fund" refuses to subsidize a mafia hit). No such luck. Which brings us to this unfortunate cola situation, unsurprisingly masterminded by BBDO, a New York agency...



Watching the Sox drop two of three to their arch rivals at Fenway this week was painful enough. What made it even worse was having the entire affair intermitently peppered with that ass-clown Fallon spaz-dancing with Parker Posey. The disaterous 30-second ordeal is soundtracked with a bit of throwback techno nonsense from Chicago's Newton. Meanwhile, it's The Grates that seem to capture my sentiment best. As the Aussie trio astutely observes, "some motherfuckers think they're born to dance." You can't dance, motherfucker. Get off my TV.




Caveat Ides of March


One thing I know a lot about is soothsayers. As my friends will attest, I can see the future. I will often be found saying, "Hey, I'm just soothsayin', (insert thing that becomes true in the future)." In fact, my grandfather was a traveling soothsayer named Sam Kutikoff, Seer of the Future. Unfortunately, he tragically died with several peers at the annual Trenton, NJ Soothsayers' Convention in what is now famously known as the Soothsaying Massacre of '47 (who knew?). Because of my soothing history I have always had a fondness for The Bard's classic Julius Caesar, which features one of the greatest soothes of all-time: "Beware the Ides of March!" Needless to say, Julius didn't listen to the Sayer and he went down like it was 1947 and he was the keynote speaker at the Soothsayer's Convention in Trenton, NJ. Not many know that the Ides only fall on the 15th of the month in March, May, July, and October. The rest of the time, it falls on the 13th, making this song a sometimes-Ides worthy tune. It's from Wire's hit and miss album 154 (the song was also covered to mixed results by Fischerspooner), but I highly recommended picking up their classic debut Pink Flag.


What the hey, here's a Pink Flag cut too:



May 24, 2006


Musical Classroom: Rock Diss Tracks





Off With Her Links!


Not musically related in any way, but if Columbus, Ohio's NBC 4 says Bruce Willis getting
splashed by a wave is news, we're sure as hell not going to argue. Peep the associated slideshow for all the gritty frame-by-frame drama.

"The only prince I care about is a dog," said Roker. "And spaghetti. Prince spaghetti." (via PWD)

In recognition for his moving lyrics about capping peoples' asses, ASCAP names 50 Cent "Songwriter Of The Year".

Sofia Coppola's period drama Marie-Antoinette, which stars Kirsten Dunst, was booed at the end of its first screening today by the hoity-toity film critics at Cannes. Meanwhile, Phoenix, fronted by Coppola's boyfriend and baby-dady Thomas Mars, had their new album lauded with an 8.0 and a "recommended" tag by the hoity-toity music critics at Pitchfork. Hey, like Napoleon said, "you can't please all the people all of the time." Or maybe it was, "when France is a rockin', don't come a puttin' out period dramas." Whatever. Thomas, why don't you get work on cheering up Sofia. I'll take care of Kirsten.



May 23, 2006


Musical Classroom: Rock Diss Tracks


In this weeks edition of Musical Classroom, allow SkinnySlim to present some good ol' guitar-based beef.

Song: Sex Pistols - "New York"

Background: The Sex Pistol's Svengali
Malcolm McLaren briefly managed The New York Dolls, turning them from NYC glam rock heroes into red leather wearing, Communist Party touting politicos. Ill advised move. Ever the pussy whipped svengaliettes, The Sex Pistols got their master's back and recorded a song aimed at the Dolls. Soon after, the Pistols had their own beef with McLaren.

The Diss: Excluding 2pac's "Hit 'Em Up", this is might be the most venomous diss song ever. The lyrics effectively reference many Dolls songs, including "Pills" and "Looking for a Kiss". The song mocks the bands cross-dressing ways and tired, stale act. Classic lines include, "You're just a pile of shit", "You better keep your mouth shut", and "You poor little faggot, you're sealed with a kiss." For good measure there's a bizarre Japan diss as well: "Think it's swell playing in Japan, well everybody knows Japan is a dishpan". It is true that Japan's dishpan status is widely known.




No, I Mentioned The Bisque


As much as Seinfeld was a semi-religious rite in my household growing up, I question the practicality of using the show as the foundation for a work of
sociological theory. Still, I suppose there were a few tidbits that may have genuine applicability to our post-Costanza world. For example, if you want to get from the start to the end of something in a hurry, nothing beats a yada yada yada. As with any eliding device, however, there are appropriate and inappropriate situations for its use. Horse racing? Yada yada yada works like a charm. Trying to brush off your spoiled party-girl persona or the details of your sexual trysts with Fez? Not quite as effective. Fact is, you just can't get away with a yada when the true juiciness of the story's details is so blatantly obvious. The same goes for great albums. Sure, most records open and close with strong, often single-worthy cuts. But when the disparity of sentiment between the first taste and the last is as tremendously and masterfully executed as it is on, say, that sophomore LP from The Zutons, you just know that there's something irresistable going on in the middle. Give a listen to the album's book-ends below, then quit depriving yourself and go buy a full copy of what's sure to be one of the year's most highly-regarded, critically-adored, top 10-listed, yada yada yada...



May 22, 2006


Penguin Pimpery


The wait is over! Please check the new Chronikill video that I co-directed with my boy Jack Riccobono. Just click on the photo and enjoy.


Come see Chronikill this Saturday night when they play The Pussycat Lounge. Thanks to everybody who came out for the video's premier at the New York Short Short Film Festival over the weekend!



The Pony Track Knows They Ain't No Party Like A Donner Party


Comin' atcha first thing every Monday morning, it's The Pony Track, a super-fantastic long distance dedication to BadmintonStamps Collective founding member Aaron "Pony" Child. No fancy links, no clever write-ups, 'cause these awesome songs don't need no splainin'. So c'mon, ride the pony!



May 19, 2006


The Friday Freakout's Protected Under The Second Ammendment


It's been well documented that Britney Spears has
got George Bush's back. After another recent public debacle, her loyalty to the GOP became a bit easier to understand. Like the President, she just wants to make sure she can get a gun when she needs one. Her similarities to Dubya seem to go even deeper, however. Like Bush, Britney seems to be a nice-enough individual who has made the mistake of repeatedly surrounding herself with the wrong people, essentially setting herself up for failure and embarrassment. Just look at the men in her life: a deadbeat dad, a former gay porn actor, and a baby that stubbornly refuses to defy gravity. Can Scooter Libby or Tom Delay really be far behind? The 'Stamps has never been a strong advocate of gun ownership (we prefer knives - easier to dispose of), but if it'll give the girl some peace of mind and help break this horrible pattern... heck, just skip the gun and start strappin' a rifle in next to that backwards child safety seat from now on, Brit. Otherwise, it's probably just a matter of time before she innocently hires Daniel Baldwin as her ski instructor.




Yo Shortie, BadmintonStamps Runs Film Festivals


Tomorrow afternoon, the new Chronikill video co-directed by yours truly will be making its international premiere at the prestigious
New York Short Short Film Festival at the Anthology Film Archives (Second Ave and 2nd Street). It's only $5 and is featured in the Music Video/Animation/Experimental section, which takes place from noon to 1pm. Check it!



Not In Our Link Yard


America
strikes back in the name of Snoop Dogg, Rox One, and domestic hip-hop as a whole, bans Sri Lankan turned limey turned pain in our collective asses MIA from entering the country to record her second album. Diplo prepares for solo tour, long studio sessions with Rosie Palmer instead.


Despite an unmistakable mandate from the people earlier this week, Liars are now threatening a possible return to the city of brotherly love. So basically, these fifty to eighty people need to be hunted down, pronto. Go ahead and getcher vigilante on, Philly.

If it was up to us, Jamie Cullum, you wouldn't be.

Hot Chip has a brief US tour scheduled for August, but will sadly be passing over Philly without so much as a single "howdy-doo" or "pip pip" (assuming they actually say things like that). To fill the unfathomable void this news will undoubtedly leave in the pit of your stomach and the soles of your dancing shoes, here's the lead track from their '05 tour EP.


More immediately, this weekend features concerts by...well...nobody really. So why not spend the weekend checking out new tunes, hand-picked by some of Philly's leading musical intelligentsia and condensed into one of those podcast thingamajigs you love so well. It's called SoundExposure, and it's available starting Saturday right here. Don't doubt it.



The Friday Jazzout






I'd Put My Whole Damn Head In It


Three minutes into T-Pain's mediocre "I'm In Luv With A Stripper" remix, something happens that will change our lives forever. That something is named R. Kelly. Here are his groundbreaking
lyrics:

"I must be the first man to ever fall in love with an... ASS. Gonna go down on my knees and ask that ass to marry me. That booty makes me forget about any chick I've creep wit in my past. Plus we got a lot in common, she's a stripper, I'm a freak. Make me wanna grab it, I gotta habit, I gotta have it. U can call me the man of steel, cuz that ass is just like a magnet. Damn... u got me so in luv, can't stay away from this club. Everytime I find myself rollin' up on them dubs. I been around the world, see booty all the time. I neva seen a booty so so pretty, so so fine. *Ear rreerr rreerr reerr* ur commin' down the pole. No secret why I'm here cuz gurl u keep my dog on swole. When it drop drop, when it pop pop, and when it hop hop. Baby the way u doin' that thing, don't u stop, stop. I wanna stick it, wanna kiss it, if I could I'd put my whole damn head in it. Cuz I'm in luv wit a stripper."


And I think you need a visual aid. Peep the video on YouTube.


May 18, 2006


"We Need To Go To The Closest Library, Quick!"





Thursday Photo Essay


Julie Christie, The Rumours Are True





Thursday Photo Essay


'Round My Heart They Wove A Lei




May 17, 2006


Snoop D-O-Double-G Can't Get A Spot Of Tea


A
previously mentioned fracas in Heathrow airport last month was apparently the Peperami that broke the camel's back, as Snoop Dogg has now been banned from the UK for life. The fact that the rapper will no longer be able to perform live on the island nation is a cruel blow to his British fans, not to mention his wallet, which is now sure to be many Dogg ús lighter. This reaction seems particularly strong when you consider that, elsewhere in jolly old England, Pete Doherty is running around squirting camera crews with syringes full of his own blood for a lark, with his freedom completely unchecked. Do you know where that blood's been? I'll tell you where: inside Pete Doherty. That's some straight-up bio-hazard shit, and he's just sprayin' it around willy-nilly, possibly near a water supply. A small rap posse dust-up at the airport seems a paltry matter by comparison. And yet the iconic, genre-defining artist is shown the door, while the local talentless junkie, if history holds true, will probably wind up on the receiving end of a knighting at Buckingham Palace. Whatever. This blog post is goin' out to the US Ambassabor of Realness, Sir Snoop himself. But since I don't want the 'Stamps banned in the UK, I'll keep it clean.



May 16, 2006


But Seriously, Obey All Traffic Laws


First off, let me acknowledge with much respect due, I think Billy Joel is herb. Having said that, one of the deepest sentiments a rock lyric has ever dropped is, "When will you realize the yellow waits for you?" Ponder, if you will, that moving affirmation of life. Cause we all know every time you're driving in your car and you see that yellow light you ask yourself, "Can I make it or should I stop?" Well guess what? You can make it. Why? Cause that yellow light, it waits for you. It lets you decide. It says, "If you wanna do it you can do it". And you should do it. Because you only live once and there ain't no time for fooling around, especially when your name is Billy Joel. Anyway, the lyric in question is actually, "When will you realize Vienna waits for you". Which is fine, I guess. More herbed out, but I'll take it. Vienna waits for me. Billy fucking Joel.


And for absolutely no good reason except that it sounds like it could go with the picture, here's a beautiful new Walkmen song. Remember to buy their album next Tuesday. It's the goods.


Update: As J points out in the comments, I really can't pass up a chance to rep Philly a bit. If it's true that the Walkmen are moving here, then they're definitely kissing all the right asses before they arrive.




Making Music Is Serous Business


Ricky Gervais, the creative force behind The Office and Extras, is interested in being taken more seriously. The online journal reporting the story apparently has
no such aspirations. What's more, if they did a little digging into his past, they'd realize that the man has already taken a turn at one of the most dramatic and super serial art forms of them all: 80's new-wave synth pop. As one half of the short-lived, NME-hyped duo Seona Dancing, Gervais toiled tirelessly for that cruel and unforgiving mistress in a manner only Duran Duran or a Let's Dance-era David Bowie could fully appreciate. C'mon, do you think that the songs are just going to write - or those bangs tease - themselves? Oh no, that's the kind of work you lose sleep and probably friends over. The result of this devotion was fleeting teen idol-dom, coupled with four of the decade's most undeniably serous songs. For the sake of levity, I'll just drop the two A-sides, but the full catalogue is available for download here.



May 15, 2006


Links Getting Burnt The F*#% Up


Ghostface says, "
Fuck New York" (whatnow?). It apparently has something to do with New York rappers' propensity to enjoy Southern rappers penises. Also because there's not enough "stores getting burnt the fuck up".

Well, it's about time NYC got in on this stealing indie bands' gear thing. Between Philly and Boston out-criming The Big Apple and not enough "stores getting burnt the fuck up", I think it's time to bring back the Dinkins.
Don't think it wasn't Philly crooks that followed The Concretes up to NYC. They think they can cancel on us at the last minute and get away scott-free? Fuck that shit.

In a shocking upset, 50 Cent beat Jadakiss. Why? Two words: Hilton, Paris. Olivia is seeming a hellalot more real right now. Kiss, you're dead to me.

Thom Yorke solo album to feature Radiohead singer backed only by an accordion and 808 sampler. I just assume this is true, I'm not bothering to read any news items about it.

So witty! Hip-Hop disc jockey Star expresses his desire to take a rival DJ's four year old daughter, smear mayonnaise in her ass, and then take a bite. I'm sorry, but that's the best threat this guy could think of? "I want to eat your daughter's ass." Uh, okay bro, I'm really scared. He was fired and arrested. In other arrest news, DMX, seatbelt, blah blah blah.

I think it's time to watch that Pipettes video again.



Making Time Past & Future





The Pony Track's Havin' A Party


Comin' atcha first thing every Monday morning, it's The Pony Track, a super-fantastic long distance dedication to BadmintonStamps Collective founding member Aaron "Pony" Child. No fancy links, no clever write-ups, 'cause these awesome songs don't need no splainin'. So c'mon, ride the pony!



May 12, 2006


The Friday Freakout's On A Mission


Against my better judgement, I recently conceded to a viewing of the big-budget adult pacifier known as Mission: Impossible 3. This film is laughably bad. Large explosions aside, Tomkat's latest should be held up as a Dummy's Guide for how not to make movies. Motiveless straw man villians, plot loopholes the size of flying saucer motherships, and lots (and lots) of Maverick making that face he reserves for when he's acting realy really hard (
you know the one). Writing so bad, even actors who only pretended to be talented writers must've been a little put off. And don't forget the requisite thinly-veiled jab at the Bush administration, 'cause it's soooo in there. At least some lovely on-location work in Shanghai made the tail end of the flick watchable. I'm not sure what it is about those exotic East Asian cultures that's so enthralling, but it clearly inspires artists of all sorts. Whether you're turning Japanese or just spending one night in Bangkok, your creative side is bound to get a serious muse-fucking. No wonder a group like Mission Of Burma can still pump out those full-throttle Friday Freakout jams after all these years. 'Cause band names are like real estate, kids. It's all about location, location, location.


Philly peoples can catch a super-intimate show from MOB at the church basement on July 16th. Tickets go on sale to the public starting next Monday at noon. Of course, there's always that fan club-only presale...






The Friday Jazzout


Allmusic says: The first major blues and jazz singer on record and one of the most powerful of all time, Bessie Smith rightly earned the title of "The Empress of the Blues"... At a time when the blues were in and most vocalists (particularly vaudevillians) were being dubbed "blues singers," Bessie Smith simply had no competition... Although she was dropped by Columbia in 1931 and made her final recordings on a four-song session in 1933, Bessie Smith kept on working. She played the Apollo in 1935 and substituted for Billie Holiday in the show Stars Over Broadway. The chances are very good that she would have made a comeback, starting with a Carnegie Hall appearance at John Hammond's upcoming From Spirituals to Swing concert, but she was killed in a car crash in Mississippi.

SkinnySlim says: Bessie sang about getting drunk, getting high, and getting dick. She was kind of like the Lil Kim of her day, except more raunchy and talented. On the first song she claims that she don't want no pork chop, just give her gin instead. But she probably wouldn't have minded having the pork chop as well. On "Kitchen Man" Bessie explains, "His frankfurters are oh so sweet, how I like his saucy meat." Bessie you naughty, naughty girl.


The Band says: Was it her sweet love or the way she could sing?




Check This Out, Ya Heard!?!



Keep it real and see you therrr.


May 11, 2006


Thursday Photo Essay


Oh, That Martha...





Thursday Photo Essay


Comb On Over Here




May 10, 2006


Boo-urns: Concretes Cancel Philly Show





Fine Young Music Round-Up



The "bloggers" are comparing British hottie Lily Allen to M.I.A. or Lady Sov. And, as expected, she sounds nothing like them. More like Nelly Furtado, but better. Anyway, she obviously wants it from me. Good luck, Lily, I'm waiting to see if you can follow up on this song before I take you out.


Think The Go! Team meets The Ronettes, but much, much whiter. The Pipettes are all the buzz over the pond. Peep their cuteness in this video. Your girlfriend is like totally in luv with them!

Bonde Do Rol are semi-legitimate at best, but they bring the party. The Brazilian band's music is being called "some stupid term I'm not bothering to look up because it's retarded". And if that means "we took samples from famous songs, mashed them up, and had some crazy chick scream all up on it" then its an apt description. It also kinda rocks.


The Fine Young Cannibals are definitely not new, but what the hey, this is a great video. And I just might post the song as a Pony Track in the next couple of weeks, cause it's that worthy.


May 9, 2006


I Pity The Link


I pity the fool who somehow manages to confuse Wilmington, Deleware with the
Mississippi Delta.

I pity the fool who thinks High Fidelity will make a good Broadway musical.

I pity the fool who voted for Zacarias Moussaoui instead of Kellie Pickler.

I pity the fool who doesn't check out Outkast's new Minnie The Moocher-y "Mighty O", available for download in Spine Magazine's news column.

I pity the fool who'll have to inform Mr. T that his reality show has lower Nielsen ratings than Date My Mom.



May 8, 2006


Par Les Vous "After-Party"?


Two orders of business this afternoon. First off, we don't even need to explain how foolish you'll feel if you're not at this tonight...



In other news, can I just please leave a big unmarked envelope full of cash on Philadelphia's nighstand for the way she took care of my rock/roll cravings this weekend? The XPN stage was swangin' and bangin' during Saturday's big Spring Festival. The Situation closed out the afternoon with serious style. And MY GOD, did any of you see The A-Sides' set right before? I'm not sure when these guys decided to be the next big Philly band, but you best expect a Spinto-sized frenzy the minute their new album finally drops. They gots their shit together's all I'm sayin'. And Sunday night...ah, Phoenix. There are no words. There are, however, remixes.




Funky/Smart


I've been reading over my recent output, and I must say, I can curse up quite the storm. True, it's only natural for a young maverick, misunderstood in his own time and unafraid to challenge the system to play fast an loose with his words. Some would fashion me the
Lenny Bruce of the internet. We call these people "internet fashionistas", because they are always taking internet celebrities (see: me) and fashioning them. They're cool, whatevs. But the truth of the matter is SkinnySlim is a dirty potty mouth and it makes me sick. And so I promise for at least the remainder of the month I will utter no uncouthities. Have a nice day and I love you.


Want more? Heck yeah! Here's a former Pony Track...




The Pony Track Is A Clinger


Comin' atcha first thing every Monday morning, it's The Pony Track, a super-fantastic long distance dedication to BadmintonStamps Collective founding member Aaron "Pony" Child. No fancy links, no clever write-ups, 'cause these awesome songs don't need no splainin'. So c'mon, ride the pony!



May 5, 2006


And It's The Friday Freakout By A Nose!


There are few aspects of the Kentucky Derby that aren't completely and totally ridiculous. First, there's the huge, brightly colored
hats. Then, as if in response to exhibit A, there's also the tiny tiny (but still brightly colored) people. But perhaps the most ludicrous feature of the event, and the sport in general, is the names of the horses. Like manatees in a tank full of idea balls, horse owners seem to pick the most baffling assortment of people, things, and nonsense syllables on their way to creating something that is often far more brow-furrowing than profound or genteel. Just look at tomorrow's field. Keyed Entry? A.P. Warrior? The triple crown of laziness has to go to Bob and John. I mean, are you fucking serious? Who names a horse... who names any single thing Bob and John? If I ever have a chance to enter a horse into the derby, I'm going to save myself some time and just pick out a song title from a Sonic Youth album. Seriously, if there's anything that lends itself well to equestrian appellation, it's the band's back catalogue. And when I'm standing in the winner's circle, patting my thoroughbred on the head with one hand and my jockey with the other, I'll make sure they blast the namesake out from the race track's system. Now that oughtta turn a few hats.







The Friday Jazzout


Allmusic says: To say that Benny Carter had a remarkable and productive career would be an extreme understatement. As an altoist, arranger, composer, bandleader, and occasional trumpeter, Carter was at the top of his field since at least 1928, and in the late '90s, Carter was as strong an altoist at the age of 90 as he was in 1936 (when he was merely 28)...Carter was a major figure in every decade of the 20th century since the 1920s, and his consistency and longevity were unprecedented.

Keith Shadwick's Jazz Guide says: A multi-intrumentalist and gifted composer/arranger, Carter eventually concentrated on the alto sax as his main instrument and became the primary influence, along with Johnny Hodges, on the instrument prior to the advent of Charlie Parker. The possessor of a ravishingly full tone and the combination of a natural symmetry of phrasing and an impeccable rhythmic sense, Carter was for years the ideal alto man, able to bring elegance to every musical context.

SkinnySlim says: Carter was the rare jazz musician that didn't succumb to drug addiction or alcoholism, hence his longevity. This track is taken from his small band sessions for Verve records in the early 1950's and features Teddy Wilson on piano and Jo Jones on drums.




The Not For Touring Bands Guide To Philadelphia


It has been suggested in dark corners and hushed tones that, just maybe, the wave of band thefts over the past few weeks has been ::gasp:: premeditated. Does this theory hold water? Is there really any sort of method to the madness? A jilted booking agent or roadie-gone-bad ambushing unsuspecting minstrels when they're at their most vulnerable? To help identify any patterns as they emerge, as well as educate propsective visitors, we've set up this handy annotated guide to foggy old P-Town's hottest spots for musical rapscallery...


See a pattern? Additional crimes to report? Finally ready to break down and confess? Just call us Sherlock, homes, 'cause we're puttin' that magnifying glass all up in yo grille.



May 4, 2006


Guillemots Ticket Giveaway


While Hard-Fi and The Rakes continue to give Philly a cold limey shoulder, Guillemots (who always seemed like the more sensitive bunch, anyway) are bringing some major love to our fair city
next Monday night. As if that weren't enough, 'Stamps faves The Subjects are on opening duties, kicking off the evening with a near-lethal dose of that old-school New York panache you love so well. We couldn't be more excited even if we had a pair of tickets to give away. Which, on an unrelated note, we totally do. If you want a chance to get your grubby little fan hands on 'em, fire off an e-mail with the subject heading "GUILLY IN PHILLY IS MAD ILLY" to our prize department at contest@badmintonstamps.com by 11:59 this Friday night. We'll contact you if you're the winner, and you'll be all "BadmintonStamps is the fucking shit, yo!" And we'll do this half-nod and wink thing that says "we know, we know...", but with body language, all subtle-like.







Thursday Photo Essay


Somethin' Ain't Right





Thursday Photo Essay


Good Excuse For A Baby Penguin Photo




May 3, 2006


Delicate? Beats? I Don't Give A Fuck 'Bout No Beats



And here's the song my band would come out to, full goddamn blast:




I'm Thinkinabout Ma Website, When Ya Gonna Link It?


Jack White's coke commercial aired once and
only once in the UK this past weekend. Australia got a shortened version during an MTV awards show. But for those of us in the US, it's YouTube or bust.

The Features declined to score a major commercial, and were dropped from their record label.

Franz Ferdinand declined to score a major commercial. They were not dropped from their record label.

The Raconteurs are this week's new saviors of rock.

MTV's "The Hills": the same stunning cinematography and trivial subject matter as "Laguna Beach", but with former LC-sidekick Lo finally getting the screen time she so richly deserves. Sight unseen, I'm declaring this the best MTV show since "The Grind". Did you know Lo's favorite color is green? Did you know Lo loves the summer time? I did.


SkinnySlim, also a Lo booster, suggests...



May 2, 2006


The Tortoise And The Moron


In his new tell-all book, everyman/alcoholic golfer John Daily claims to have accumulated
50-60 million dollars in gambling loses. In one incident, after losing playoff to Tiger Woods and earning $750,00, he immediately drove to Vegas and blew $1.65 million in five hours playing $5,000 slot machines. 1.65 million at the slots?!? I'm sorry, I understand that gambling is an addiction, but 1.65 million? At the slot machines? Fucking dumbass. And let's be honest, if you want to live the fast life out on the road, golfing isn't your best bet. He should have tried rock and roll stardom instead, a profession where his addictions are a bonus. Look at The Rolling Stones. Besides proudly shooting every drug known to man and talking shit whenever they want, we all know about Charlie Watts' legendary turtle racing gambling fixation. And what do they get for all of this? Scorn, rehab, and more scorn? Try knighthood, hot chicks, and $100 million a year. That's about 75 hours at the slots for Johnny Boy, and enough time for the casino to maybe pay off.



May 1, 2006


Playlists Refreshed, Rivalry Renewed





The Pony Track Dropped Out Of BU


Comin' atcha first thing every Monday morning, it's The Pony Track, a super-fantastic long distance dedication to BadmintonStamps Collective founding member Aaron "Pony" Child. No fancy links, no clever write-ups, 'cause these awesome songs don't need no splainin'. So c'mon, ride the pony!



Music posted on this site is for sampling purposes only. If you enjoy the songs posted here, please go out and buy the records! If you are the copyright holder of any material posted here and would like it taken down, please contact Philabuster, and your request will be honored immediately. Please do not direct link to any of these songs. Thanks for your cooperation, and enjoy the sounds.

SkinnySlim's List



In Rotation...

Ghostface Killah - Fishscale The Walkmen - A Hundred Miles Off Guided By Voices - Bee Thousand
Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Show Your Bones Love Is All - Nine Times That Same Song Arctic Monkeys - Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not