Philabuster's List



In Rotation...

Elbow - Leaders Of The Free World Late Night Tales: Turin Brakes DFA Records Holiday Mix 2005
Franz Ferdinand - You Could Have It So Much Better Eccentric Soul - The Bandit Label Rogue Wave - Descended Like Vultures












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Welcome to BadmintonStamps. We're Philabuster and SkinnySlim, representing Philly and NYC respectively. We are very good looking. Thanks.

December 30, 2005


Links? We Don't Need No Stinkin' Links


First off, apologies for all the missing posts earlier this week. Philabuster was travelling in a foreign land that upheld strict anti-blogging laws, and you know how much we respect every law not related to drugs, guns, or copyright infringement here at the 'Stamps. Fortunately, we bought a time machine on Ebay last month (good deal, though the shipping was a killer). So enjoy the now-posted posts, including the missing chapters of our "Year's Best" series, and look out for a new playlist first thing Monday to go along with the Pony Track. Now on to the important stuff...

Spinto Band and The Teeth are playing at Tritone
this Saturday night for a paltry $10. So crack the whip and ring in the new year with great music from some local boys.

Or, hang out with all your favorite current and former 2nd floor Khyber DJs at Philebrity's outerspace-themed bash at the Manhattan Room.

Or, hang out with different Khyber DJs at, well, the Khyber.

Or, hang out with Philabuster and associates at Barrister's. Live music, a DJ set from yours truly, open bar, food, mirth, mayhem. Pretty standard, really.

Or just stay home by yourself. Loser.

And don't forget to vote in our new "Best of Badminton" poll! C'mon people, is it really that hard?






F-R-I-D-A-Y-F-R-E-A-K-O-U-T


It's New Year's Eve's Eve, people. The ultimate penultimate. That means the Friday Freakout needs to bring some serious heat. And who better to rise to that challenge than the hottest chip of all? From the soulful Stevie Wonder-style organ breakdowns to the in-your-face guitar solo to the hyperactive beat to the K-I-S-S-I-N-G to that damn damn monkey, this track just doesn't quit. I could go on, but what's the point? Freakout all the way into the new year, 'Stampers, and I'll catch ya on the flip side.


Jesus Christ, is Hot Chip the best band out there right now? Maybe. Happy New Years, Stampers!



Songs Of The Year


This week, allow SkinnySlim and Philabuster to present a few of what they consider to be 2005's best songs.

Jutta Koether on Sonic Youth's Daydream Nation: "A pot boils over spilling sounds that will stick to various surfaces". Still Tippin' is not so much a pot spilling over as a cutting board thrown against the wall. Follow every element on the production; how the organic and electronic elements mix together and compliment each other, how the melodic lines interact with experiment clicks, how sounds come in and out, subtly building and diminishing. I've listened to it a hundred times and still haven't figured it out. Interestingly, the worst thing about this song is Mike Jones. His verse (the second one) is adequate, but Slim Thug's screwed up voice delivers and Paul Wall's star making turn had the internet going nuts like his name was SkinnySlim. Song of the year, a masterpiece.


I've posted a couple Hard-Fi songs on here over the past few months, but none of them bring as much sheer joy to my being as this one. The gritty production, the driving post-punk rhythms, the epic choruses, the too-tall tale of lust at first sight - it all just comes together to form this perfect little nugget of indulgent pop rock excess. Perhaps the best song on perhaps my single favorite album of the year. Easily my "most rocked-out-to" song of '05.



December 29, 2005


Hip Hop Link Party: You Are Not The Father


My idol Ghostface Killah is releasing a limited edition 14 karat gold encrusted talking doll. Check out the
official site (scroll over the stack of bills to hear Ghost phrases). My birthday is only four months away, hint hint.

From the files of "The Justice System Hates Rappers": Foxy Brown is deaf and not chewing gum, yet the Judge still got to cuff a sister to a bench.

Violence erupts at release party for the Notorious B.I.G. "Duets" album. The culprit's defense? He was forced to listen to the the Notorious B.I.G.'s "Duets" album at the party. I say, "Not guilty". Also, Brand Nubian founding member (featured on the real life Biggie duet "Come On Motherfuckers") was arrested last week on gun charges.

In the history of funny this ranks pretty high (thnx B. Brogs).




Songs Of The Year


This week, allow SkinnySlim and Philabuster to present a few of what they consider to be 2005's best songs.

SkinnySlim already put up one of the masterpieces from Spoon's latest album in his Top 10 list last week, but hearing the diverse array of styles the band traverse from one song to the next is critical in order to fully appreciate just how much these guys have matured as artists. Before the mechanical thump of "Camera", listeners get accosted by this sultry slice of Dire Straits guitar swagger like Daisy Duke in a smoke-filled, dimly lit country bar. A song so perfectly slimy, it just had to be about a French dude.


It's a weird, trippy, dubbed out, squawk of a song that I can't stop listening to. Plus, something about it makes me want to by some sneakers and warm-up suits.



December 28, 2005


Songs Of The Year


This week, allow SkinnySlim and Philabuster to present a few of what they consider to be 2005's best songs.

How to describe LCD Soundsystem's "Movement"? Let's see...Well, this song is kinda like a movement from a small place to a bigger city. It's like a discipline but sort of without the discipline, know what I'm saying? Jeez, I guess it's like a couple guys chilling with some friends, just trying hard to stay in. Or even like a fat guy in a t-shirt who's doing all the singing. Anyway, I gotta go cause HERE COMES THE REEVAAHAHHHWITAREEVEEEARHBDOIAGHAWTDOSAVIARH!!!!!!!


Let's be honest here. Domestic abuse? Normally, it doesn't rock. Quite the opposite, in fact. But if Ted Leo can write one of 2004's most rockingest songs on the subject of Bulemia, then we'll go ahead and give Okkervil River the same hall pass this year. From the opening verse to the final howling chorus, Will Sheff's voice is the definition of sincerity, and the straight-edge pop melodies get beaten into your brain like a red-headed stepchild - hard.



December 27, 2005


Songs Of The Year


This week, allow SkinnySlim and Philabuster to present a few of what they consider to be 2005's best songs.

Just when you thought you knew what to expect from 2005, Sharon Jones and her very dapper Dap Kings tossed out this fantastic bit of old-timey soul. The band lay off their remarkable displays of technical skill showcased on the rest of the album for this ultra-smooth closing track, and let Sharon's impassioned vocals and a few plaintive string sections take center stage. Everytime I hear this song, I fall in love with it all over again.


On this epic, Brososo say "fuck" more times than your favorite rapper, although unless it's Kayne, your favorite rapper ain't saying "There was this kid who fucked me in the ass". No matter, cause these guys really smash the fuck out of the social scene on this motherfucker. The best ten minute song since Freebird, the band writes in the liner notes that it's supposed "sound like Bob Segar on acid." Well, if Bob Segar on acid sounds like a great fucking rock band, then they really nailed this fucker.



December 26, 2005


Songs Of The Year


This week, allow SkinnySlim and Philabuster to present a few of what they consider to be 2005's best songs.

When Jackie White hit the first chords on the piano of this simple, pure, funny, sad, and perfect country ballad , the insanely large and intimidating man a few feet behind me yelled, "Fuck Yeah!" It was as on point as any words that have ever been yelled.


There's nothing particularly groundbreaking about this paean to primordial instinct, aside from Paul Epworth's sharp-as-broken-glass production. The killer riffs, hammering percussion, and low-brow lyricism all follow a structure that's familiar if not downright formulaic. None of this, however, changes the fact that, if you have even a semblance of a pulse, you'll be jumping around the room and air-guitaring like first-class moron by the end of this song.




The Pony Track Runs Morning, Noon, And Night


Comin' atcha first thing every Monday morning, it's The Pony Track, a super-fantastic long distance dedication to BadmintonStamps Collective founding member Aaron "Pony" Child. No fancy links, no clever write-ups, 'cause these awesome songs don't need no splainin'. So c'mon, ride the pony!



December 23, 2005


New Poll: The Best Of Badminton




The Friday Freakout's A Festivus For The Rest Of Us


In anticipation of this weekend's impedning Christmas/Chanukah face-off, BadmintonStamps is gonna go ahead and declare itself totally neutral. Hey, there's plenty to like about both holidays, quite frankly. On the one hand, there's such a tremendous glut of Christmas music every year that at least a tiny bit of it is bound to be really really good. In 2004, The Walkmen gave us their excellent Christmas Party EP. This year, Snowden has put their Licorice EP, a great set of Christmas standards and original material, up on their site, and you can
download the whole thing for free. On the other side of the foil-wrapped chocolate coin, we've got the eight crazy nights of indie quirk that can only be Yo La Tengo's Chanukah residency at Maxwells'. And if you still need one more unique, relatively secular gift, the be sure to snag a copy of DFA's fantastic '05 holiday mix. While the design on the disc is done in red and green, you just know that the lawyers who oversaw all the licensing and royalties for the compilation were Heebs to the max. Also to the max? The electro-funky goodness of this marathon Friday Freakout no-brainer. Have a thrilling winter solstice celebration, 'Stampers. Just don't get us started on Kwanzaa...



December 22, 2005


Alt Rock Studio Snippet Series: Here We Go Say


In this six part series, SkinnySlim presents a superior alternative rock track that features a brief "candid" snippet of studio dialogue.

Robert Pollard, leader of Guided By Voices, knows better than anyone the importance of brevity.








Thursday Photo Essay


Three Whole Days





Thursday Photo Essay


Darling Don't You Go And Cut Your Hair




December 21, 2005


Just Another Day In The Big City



Let's check the New York local news, shall, we? Man who tortured wife with leopards gets sentenced, a yoga-instructing stripper killer to be formally charged, a Governor's spokesmen is arrested for crack possession, a subway pusher's murder conviction is overturned, and a fashion writer who raped a woman by starting a fire and then pretending to be a fireman is finally apprehended. Oh yeah, then there's that whole "I can't go anywhere" and "A monster just signed up to play for my team" thing. I say forget Sue Simmons, let's have some real New Yorkers explain these two big local stories. Here's a couple from the Dolls' classic first album to shed some light on recent events.




Judas, Not Jesus

"There's no way I can go play for the Yankees, but I know they're going to come after me hard. It's definitely not the most important thing to go out there for the top dollar, which the Yankees are going to offer me. It's not what I need."
- Johnny Damon,
May '05


Dear Johnny,

The only thing that'll be missed at Fenway next season is your trophy wife's ass. You're dead to me. You're nothing. Fredo. Fuck you, you fucking neanderthal back-stabbing piece of shit sell-out.

Very sincerely,
Philabuster




Alt Rock Studio Snippet Series: Cup of Tea Then Bruce?


In this six part series, SkinnySlim presents a superior alternative rock track that features a brief "candid" snippet of studio dialogue.

When Meg White preaches, "Women, listen to your mothers, don't just succumb to the wishes of your brothers" on the song "Passive Manipulation", she's speaking straight from the heart. That's because Meg unfortunately succame to the not so passive manipulation of her brother and bandmate, Jack, and actually
married him! Ewwww, nasty. What's worse is that Mr. White actually has the nerve to pass himself off as a gentleman. Well I ain't buying it Jack, cause there's nothing gentlemanly about incest. This whole sick situation becomes even more sordid when you consider guest vocalist Holly Golightly's words on the Stripes' "It's True That We Love One Another": "Well it's true that we love one another, I love Jack White like a little brother". Double ewww. And now comes news that Mr. White is about to procreate. Someone call child services now.



December 20, 2005


He Will Link You Higher


In case you don't know, Jesus freak Scott Stapp is an a-hole. He also apparently had a
disappointing sexual experience/pissing contest/orgy with Dave Grohl.

Juvenile claims Fiddy is "wrong like a motherfucka" and that he wants to "punch Baby in the mouth."

Unfunny SNL funnily recreates my Sunday afternoons.

Can I get a Shiavo in this piece? How about a Hurricane Victims? No? Well then I must say, dear Time, that you are indeed wrong like a motherfucka.

You call this a strike? THIS is a strike.




City Asks Santa For Victoria's Secret Angels, Gets Guardian Angels, Coal


"The story of
this organization's genesis and nascent roots are by now familiar. The McDonald's night manager in a crime-ridden area of the Bronx, who, sickened and saddened by his city's deterioration, took matters into his own hands. He formed a voluntary, weapon-free patrol of 13 to take the subways, the streets and the neighborhood back from crime. The accolades that followed and success of their programs only heightened the symbolism of the red beret, now a worldwide icon for safety"

Fighting soldiers from the sky, fearless men who jump and die...wait. Sorry, wrong color beret. Still, let's give Philly's latest New Yorkicizing element a warm, non-violent, vigilante welcome. Hey, now I - HEY!! I said NON-VIOLENT!!! Oh, you guys...fine, but those were the last three, okay? No more violence, starting...NOW!



December 19, 2005


Alt Rock Studio Snippet Series: Whatever


In this six part series, SkinnySlim presents a superior alternative rock track that features a brief "candid" snippet of studio dialogue.

Playing the market can be quite volatile, what with these hedge funds and mergers and whatnot. That's why the prestigious Sutcliffe Catering Company of Great Britain has decided to
invest in people. Invest in people? I thought that practise went out of fashion back in the War Between The States' days. But maybe they're not using the people for labour, and maybe that appetizing dish isn't lamb. That would explain the copy of "To Serve Man" given out to all new catering students.




The Pony Track's A-Crying


Comin' atcha first thing every Monday morning, it's The Pony Track, a super-fantastic long distance dedication to BadmintonStamps Collective founding member Aaron "Pony" Child. No fancy links, no clever write-ups, 'cause these awesome songs don't need no splainin'. So c'mon, ride the pony!



December 16, 2005


No Ice Cream Until You Finish Your List!


If I were stranded alone on a desert island, and could bring however many albums I wanted, but only ten could be from 2005, these are the ten I'd include...

LCD Soundsystem - LCD Soundsystem (mp3
here)
Hard-Fi - Stars of CCTV
Gorillaz - Demon Days
Franz Ferdinand - You Could Have It So Much Better
Stellastarr* - Harmonies For The Haunted
Broken Social Scene - Broken Social Scene
Kings of Leon - Aha Shake Heartbreak
Spoon - Gimme Fiction
The Rakes - Capture/Release
The Sun - Blame It On The Youth (mp3 here)

Left behind, but sorely missed: Art Brut - Bang Bang Rock & Roll, Little Barrie - We Are Little Barrie, Okkervil River - Black Sheep Boy, Robbers On High Street - Tree City, The Spinto Band - Nice And Nicely Done

EP: The Harlem Shakes - new demo (
here)
Live Album: Phoenix - Live! 30 Days Ago
Compilation: DJ Premier & Mr. Thing - Kings Of Hip Hop
Retrospective: Orange Juice - The Glasgow School


Very Live in '05: Arcade Fire @ TLA, Kaiser Chiefs @ The Five Spot, Hot Chip @ Rothko, The Sun @ The Khyber, LCD Soundsystem @ Bowery, Les Savy Fav @ Bowery, Polysics @ Troc Balcony, Franz Ferdinand @ Tower Theater, Love Is All @ Transit, Diamond Nights @ The Khyber

Gettin' Ready For: New Strokes, new YYYs, new Red Sox Championship, new Zero 7, new Hot Chip, new chapters of R. Kelly's "Trapped In The Closet", new Futureheads, new diss tracks.

Pounds n' respek to The Webmastah, 'Slim, and everybody else payin' attention out there in the webiverse. So far, this is kinda fun...




Drumroll Please...


Jackson Pettibone writes in to say, "Year end lists are gay." I say, "Let's Brokeback!"

Albums of the Year

Broken Social Scene - Broken Social Scene: They really break the scene wide open on this one. Buy
here. See here.

LCD Soundsystem - LCD Soundsystem: Damn, baby, damn. LCD Soundsystem got that crack to make my ass do the fantastic. My pick for album of the year. Song here. Buy here.

Silver Jews - Tanglewood Numbers: "Aintcha heard the news? Adam and Eve were Jews." I am simply in love with Tanglewood Numbers. Like all their records there's some misses, but the good songs are great. Very few non-blacks are this strong with the lyrics. Buy here. See here.

Spoon - Gimme Fiction: Sultry rock and roll. Perfectly executed. Can be played forward or backward. Buy here.

Also Recommended: Beck - Guero, Kings of Leon - Aha Shake Heartbreak, Franz Ferdinand - You Could Have It So Much Better, Harlem Shakes - Demo, White Stripes - Get Behind Me Satan, Wolf Parade - Apologies to the Queen Mary, Wu Tang Meets Indie Culture

Technicality Award: Hot Chip's Coming On Strong and The Go! Team's Thunder Lighting Strike, '04 albums just now receiving domestic releases.

I Was Rocked By: Hot Chip, Wolf Parade, Les Savvy Fav, LCD Soundsystem, Arcade Fire.

Dog Fight of the Year - Sampson versus Buster Keaton, San Francsico Bay Park, July 16th. The stories they will tell...

Looking Forward: Cat Power, The Strokes, Ghostface, Outkast, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, NYY Championship, and whatever President S. Carter blesses us with.

Shout Outs: Young Dubes for creating and maintaining, Miss Faye for keeping me holy, Mr. Buster for keeping it real, and all of you for the support. Thanks, for serious.




The Friday Freakout Always Gets The Job Done


It's been virtually impossible to avoid all the press Philly has drawn over the past several months dubbing us the infamous "sixth borough" and likening our youthful and flourishing urban scene to the next Williamsburg. Suddenly, it seemed like every Brooklyn hipster worth their salt was professing their love for our affordable housing and totally anti-scene scene. But the highways and biways that connect our great metropoli run in both directions, dear Gothamites, and it was only a matter of time before Philly started to love you back, as the saying goes. So, here ya go - have a big ol' helping of irrational,
strike-prone public transit workers. If you didn't already know, Philly has something of an embarrassment of riches in that department, sorta like how New York has a seemingly endless supply of brash young retro rock bands. And since you've been kind enough to send some of the best of 'em, like Friday Freakout poster-boys Diamond Nights, over to our neighborhood every now and then, we figured the threat of a full-on, city-paralyzing transit strike was the only fitting thank-you card. Philadelphia: always looking to share its gifts with those beyond the city of brotherly love.



December 15, 2005


Alt Rock Studio Snippet Series: That's It


In this six part series, SkinnySlim presents a superior alternative rock track that features a brief "candid" snippet of studio dialogue.

Dreams. What do they mean? The Egyptians believed they were messages sent from the Gods warning them about imminent disaster or future riches. Greek big-wig Aristotle theorized that they predicted health, and that a doctor could diagnose a patient by listening to their dreams. The Romans wrote books on dream interpretation, stating such things as if you saw yourself wearing a purple robe you had better get ready for a long disease. Numerous Middle Eastern philosophers claimed that only a man of "a clean spirit, chaste morals, and the Word of Truth" could interpret them. The prevailing 19th century European opinion stated that dreams were caused by external stimuli. Bearded rebel Sigmund Freud proposed the controversial theory that dreams tapped into the subconscious desire to return to childhood and were rooted in wish fulfillment. Recent Wilconians now think dreams are caused by idealistic midget creatures who dance and prance around in your head and pass along wisdom. And when it's all over, "that's it".




~Thursday]+[Links


Ah, good ol' "Shift". The computer key that made it possible to type Stellastarr* now brings you Sunn 0))). Pitchfork is
all in a tizzy over this parenthasized duo, at least until that new #SnaRG}7 album comes out next month. You can witness the moans and drones for yourself this Friday night at the church basement.

SXSW has announced the preliminary line-up of artists attending the 2006 festival, March 15-19. Some larger names of interest include Belle & Sebastian, The Go! Team, and...Dashboard Confessional?

The French government blames last month's riots on music, free speech. In a related story, Monsieur R. is named BadmintonStamps' 2005 International Rapper of the Year.



Thursday Photo Essay


Match Point





Thursday Photo Essay


Bruce Dickinson Digs Our Sound




December 14, 2005


If You Link Me Up I'll Never Stop, Never Stop


More G-Unit? Hell yes, gangsta. Mr. Cent has
beef with metro bi gaysexual pop "star" Robbie Williams. Robbie Williams?!? I miss the days when rappers had beef with legitimate foes. You know, like Eminem and Christina Aguilera.

Paul McCartney shills for Fidelity, The Who are the CSI house band, The Stones are playing the Super Bowl, and Robert Zimmerman sings for Victoria's Secret and is a mouthpiece for Satellite Radio. Hey Mom and Dad: Fuck your idealistic hippie idols. They should have had the decency to o.d. (and don't think Jimi wouldn't be playing the national anthem for Target's President's Day Sale).

R.I.P. "bling" (1999-2005)

Talk about a large monkey hard on.

When legendary promoting group Bill Graham Presents sold itself to the Clear Channel devil, rich man Bill Sagan bought a "treasure trove" of memorabilia for five mill. He put a bunch of it (t-shirts, posters, tickets, etc.) on sale just for you. Awesome stuff from idols that should now be put to sleep. (via goldenfiddle.com)



Walk Toward The Light...Or Don't


How do you celebrate the holidays and create a festive atmosphere using just the magical waves/particles that us common folk call "light"? Well, if you're Mayor Street, you
hire French contractors to turn City Hall into a giant Easter egg for seven hours every night. The color schemes, which change nightly, have thus far run the gamut from charmingly gauche to mildly nauseating to violently and existentially troubling. The real kicker is, of course, that this isn't even the most bizarre lighting decision made in Philly this season. That award goes to the designers of the Cira Center, Philly's newest skyscraper. The uniquely-angled structure looks innocent enough during the day. However, come nightfall, a grid of color-changing bulbs transforms the building's facade into something resembling what can only be described as the world's biggest Lite-Brite (as opposed to the world's smallest Lite-Brite). This selection of ambient genius from Fennesz is an homage to light and the city that's known for it, and is simultaneously disorienting and hyponitic. Kinda like what those Parisians are doing to my City Hall.




Alt Rock Studio Snippet Series: You Fucking Die!


In this six part series, SkinnySlim presents a superior alternative rock track that features a brief "candid" snippet of studio dialogue.

Let's kick off this exciting new series with possibly the most revered bit of studio snippetry ever known to man. Technically less a snippet than an epic tale, this intro to the Spanish language guitar freakout "Vamos" tells the story of a girl (Kimberly Deal) who threatens death to those who moved her stuff. In an interview years later, Mr. Frank Black expressed surprise that indie rock fans had memorized this mesmerizing bit of dialogue. Ha! That's like Jesus being surprised that Christians memorized the Sermon on the Mount.



December 13, 2005


Lu-lu-lu Link-Unit!


Several weeks after he gets to pokin', Young Buck
gets to probatin'.

Meanwhile, in an attempt to boost his popularity in indie circles, 50 Cent becomes Canadian. G-Unit "Collective" not as fortunate.

The Game calls Tony Yayo gay. Fader calls The Game gay for calling Tony Yayo gay. We're gonna go ahead and call Fader gay, just because.

Ever wonder how the whole gang stays in touch? Obviously, G-g-g G-Mail! Don't act like you don't know.

Q-Unit, a series of Queen/Fiddy mash-ups, has been bouncing around the net for a while now. Yeah, that Grey Album shit may float some people's boats, but we'll take the subtle stylings of a Ratatat remix over some novelty rock/rap hybridization any day. That's just how we do.




Dollars And Nonsense


When the US Mint introduced the Susan B. Anthony dollar
on this day in 1978, they thought they'd be making life easier for people. And you know what? It is easier. It's easier to lose a dollar in between the cushions of your sofa. It's easier to be the asshole that accidentally jams the vending machine 'cause you thought you were putting in a quarter. And it's easier to feel and sound like you're part of a chain gang when you eventually do lug around a pocket full of these fun-sized sawbucks 'cause you've just got to find some way to get rid of them all and if that means paying for a gallon of milk and a bag of Milano cookies with 'em at the Wawa then so be it. Still, the tale of this much-maligned coin does seem oddly appropriate. Mizz Anthony was, after all, immortalized in currency form for her efforts to secure women's right to vote. And if the recent studies of American voter turn-out are to be believed, then the suffrage for which she fought appears to be just as large an inconvenience as the coin on which her portrait now resides. And if that ain't enough belaboured irony for the hipster segment of our readership, may we suggest paying for your next can of PBR with three shiny Sacajeweas?



December 12, 2005


Richard Pryor




"Shit, we had big fun when he was here, ain't no need to start crying now cause he gone."
- R.P.




New Playlist - A Hip To The Hop


It feels like it's been years, but my all new, all hip hop playlist is now finally up. I've included recent tracks from Clipse, MOP, Chronikill, Z-Ro, and two new ones from the
highly recommended Wu Tang Meets Indie Culture album. There's also some classics from Trick Daddy, Big L, CNN, Ghostface, Biggie, and others. As a bonus, I've kept up the rock playlist from last month, cause you know, BadmintonStamps can please all of the people all of the time. Well, except this guy.



Ten Things I Learned Watching Brokeback Mountain


Tractors can cost more than $100,000

Ranch rent is less than town rent

When you have man on man sex a sheep dies

Anne Hathaway has a really great rack

Rodeo clown love can not be bought

An ass is still an ass

Always bring a fish back for the lady

Rodeo boys are cur-aze-y

Michelle Williams is sort of cute

Cowboys are totally gay




The Pony Track Rides On Into Town


Comin' atcha first thing every Monday morning, it's The Pony Track, a super-fantastic long distance dedication to BadmintonStamps Collective founding member Aaron "Pony" Child. No fancy links, no clever write-ups, 'cause these awesome songs don't need no splainin'. So c'mon, ride the pony!



December 9, 2005


The Friday Freakout's Not A Toy


Safety is no laughing matter, and something we here at the 'Stamps always try to advocate in clear and responsible fashion. That's why we always wear helmets when blogging. It's also why we get as excited as a kid in a pile of safe-t scissors when W.A.T.C.H. releases its annual list of the
10 Most Dangerous Toys. The unassuming pastel pals at right are some of this year's main offenders. Their weapon of choice? "Long, fiberlike hair which is not adequately rooted and is easily removable." While Bag-O-Glass is mysteriously absent from the 2005 list, several repeat offenders, suck as blocks, reprise their place of shame for another holiday season. One newcomer featured this year is a pair of spring-loaded over-shoes called "Air Kicks". Sure, the manufacturer includes a warning that users should "always remain in control of your motions". But what if hipster mommy and daddy are blasting The Fever on the living room stereo? Expecting anyone, let alone young children, to remain in control of themselves when this spaztastic slice of new wave is playing at full-tilt Friday Freakout levels is naive and unrealistic. That fine print routine may help you stay kosher with the law, GeoSpace International, but we all know that putting out a product as dangerous as this is a seriously cold blooded move.




Mr. Blizzard


Excluding possibly everything else, there's nothing I love more than science class. Favorite lessons include mytochondira, doucheintyophy, and bunseninoid, but the all time best is
mutual symbiosis, aka: a beneficial relationship between two parties. A perfect example of mutualistic symbiosis is the connection between Polar Bear Clubs and local television news. Polar Bear Clubs are loose organizations of ancient white people, preferably overweight and in speedos, who run into the ocean during the middle of winter. Local television news is pretend journalism defined by an obsession with slight weather patterns, unfair evictions of old ladies, inane feel-good stories, and the neighborhood rapist. In their mutual symbiotic relationship, local news gets their feel good story and Polar Bear Clubs get the undeserved validation needed to continue their semi-retarded tradition. To celebrate the mutual symbiotic relationship we have with you, here's an all time classic from Husker Du and some comic styling from David Cross.



December 8, 2005


Friday Night, You're On Your Own


Tonight at 9PM, eletcro/glitch/laptop guru Peter Rehberg will be giving an
intimate performance in the First Unitarian's 50-seat capacity mini-chapel. Which is, ya know, pretty darn cool. If clicks and buzzes aren't really your thing, head over to the North Star at 7PM for an all-ages soiree with the French Kicks, who may or may not have toured as the Freedom Kicks over periods of 2003.

Saturday night, it's another clash of the titans. In the TLA corner, weighing in at whatever Nick Hornby decides is a poetic number, is Philly's own Marah, kicking out those Springsteen jams like a series of vicious left hooks. But countering over at the Khyber in classic bob-and-weave fashion is Diamond Nights, ready to bring an REO Speedwagon-sized load of pain down on anyone who dares to stand still during "The Girls Attractive".

Sunday, why not just chill out and eat good at Reading Terminal Market. 'Cause you totally can now. Woo-hoo!

And wherever you go, be sure to take a cue from Kanye and dress warmly.



Thursday Photo Essay


Just A-Singin' My Song





Thursday Photo Essay


Manutemen




December 7, 2005


The Shortest Distance Between Any Two Sites Is A Link


Fluxblog
informs us of the the Ten Mike Jones Commandments.

The Gap and Karen O issue Spike Jonze commandments.

Hold the phone! Actually, throw the phone! We have a new worst long band name!

Pitchfork reports the latest on a new album from Philabuster fave Mojave 3. In addition, the band has posted a demo track on their website.

Everybody's redesigning their sites. Said The Gramaphone celebrated its status as one of the oldest mp3 blogs around with an all-new mold-covered look. Scenestars lost the ghey pink stars and went for a manlier, bloglier navy color scheme. The BM Rant has new bricks. And Product Shop NYC basically ripped off our layout, but with worse colors and no radios. Miss Modern Age wants to redesign her site, and is currently taking applications. She's willing to pay, but would rather get it for free. Yeah, wouldn't we all.




The Youth Of Today


Our school system is completely failing us. For proof, let's examine
this recent news story, entitled "Philly Toddler Brings Crack to Daycare", in relation to Notorious B.I.G's sacred Ten Crack Commandments...

Number One: Never let no one know how much dough you hold
"The child handed his daycare teacher two packets of crack cocaine."

Number Two: Never let 'em know your next move
The child bragged he had to get to "fingerpainting".

Number Three: Never trust no-bo-dy, your moms'll set that ass up, properly gassed up
Police have arrested the mother, presumably in order to "flip her".

Number Four: Never get high on your own supply
The child seemed hyper and confused.

Number Five: Never no crack where you rest at
"A police search of the home...[yielded] crack cocaine."

Number Six: That God damn credit, dead it
He gave the crack to his teacher without compensation.

Number Seven: This rule is so underrated, keep your family and business completely separated
"The boy lives with his mother, 5-year-old sister and at least one other adult."

Number Eight: Never keep no weight on you
"A search of his jacket pocket turned up nine more [bags of crack]"

Number Nine: Stay the fuck from police
"The toddler talked about the drugs [to police]."

Number Ten: A strong word called consignment, strictly for live men, not for freshmen
While this Frosh had the product, he was clearly confused about the clientele aspect.

You might say, "SkinnySlim, cut the kid a break, he's only two". But if we let this slide, the next thing you know the world's best crack deals will be outsourced to India. And that's the day the empire truly dies.



December 6, 2005


Links Been Smooth Since Days Of Underoos


The Man totally
sells Chappelle out, and we're totally gonna watch.

Fake tough guy sues Hova over hand gestures. Way to keep it not real, "Dallas".

Irv Gotti and brother acquitted. Not exactly breaking news when The Himalayan Times beats you to the punch.

Highly Recommended: Rolling Stone's in depth look at the Biggie murder. The LAPD did it and covered it up. Read here, or pick up the issue to peep articles on Jay-Z, Steve Stoute, and Chris Rock's favorite rap cds. I usually hate RS, but they did their thing this month (thx bml).

France? Wrong! This has been going around, but it's too awesome to pass up. Not a satire, these homeboys have big wig Republican backers and are campaigning to get their song onto TRL. Mr. Andrew Sullivan dispatched readers to research the scary backstory (scroll down a 'lil).


Read more, watch video, and listen to other clips of my new favorite band right here.



Like Milk And Cookies


Everybody loves a winner. And everybody loves a Sharpie.
Put those two things together, and you've got something that people will shower with media attention and sign to huge (but not too huge) contracts. It's a proven formula for success. Too bad the Eagles decided to put on their huge loser uniforms before Monday Night Football, and that the only thing sharp about the team was Koy Detmer's neck stubble (we swear, that image is not doctored in any way). Fortunately, Sweden's hottest new purveyors of organized low-fi din, Love Is All, are here to pick up the slack. The band has put together a spectacular debut record which is already netting plenty of (pitchfork)media attention. And after the way they outperformed almost everybody's expectations during their sizzling set at Transit last month, I'm sure their label would be more than amenable to restructuring the band's contract. This gorgeous track, another successful manifestation of the winner/marker combo, is more cool-down than club banger, tipping its too-cute hat to Mazzy Star and The Concretes while shuffling its slow-dancing feet to the lazy drones of a My Bloody Valentine ballad.


If you're hankerin' for more LIA tracks, you're in luck. One was featured in a previous week's Friday Freakout, while two more are available over at everybody's favorite sasquatch-themed blog.


December 5, 2005


We're Not Still Bitter, It Just Links That Way


Sure, Lady Sovereign may have alienated every single fan she ever had in Philly. But at least she still has walking hip-hop punchline Ja Rule
wearing her EP as a necklace. JA-FUCKING-RULE! Enjoy your brief flirtation with Ashanti-like mediocrity, princess, and then get the hell out of our country.

Unlike chav wannabe Sov, Pete Doherty is a true hooligan's hooligan. In fact, according to the police who arrested him last week, he's Class A.

Wanna show Pennsylvania some genuine respek? Take a cue from Matt Pond PA and include the state abbreviation in your band's name. When he's not hyping the Keystone State, Matt stays busy by hyping Ratatat's highly anticipated sophomore album on blogger questionaires. Also, he stays busy by playing enitre shows for people who buy tickets to see him.



My Friend Says "Conservative"


Although I use it occasionally, I'm not a huge fan of "gay" as a term of negativity. It strikes me as homophobic and not particularly clever. Several Internet sites have started writing
"ghey" to mean gay. Byron Crawford does it, as do these sites of questionable latent sexuality. Ghey can mean both gay as in homosexual activities ("Those two men having sex are ghey"), or gay as in movies without sound ( "Movies without sound are ghey"). Here's the problem: I can't think of anything gayer than writing "gay" as "ghey". It's pretty fruity. In fact, I think it's more gay (movies without sound) to use ghey than to actually be homosexual. For example, while a gay bar could be a fun place where homos drink, a ghey bar would be some lame spot where frat boys say "ghey" and try to date rape sluts, but end up making out with each other back at their place while they play Grand Theft Auto. Personally I'll pass on that ghey shit, and I'm going to listen to Electric Six and take my girl straight to the gay bar.



December 2, 2005


Lady Sovereign Doesn't Care About Black People




December 1, 2005


Don't Say We Didn't Warn You, Philly


Lady Sovereign hits Silk City Lounge tonight, and the 'Stamps boys are gonna be representin' down in front. Diplo has pulled out of warm-up duties, but the stalwart Dave P can surely hold things down on his own. While the show isn't sold out yet, R5 is not selling any more advance tickets. If you want to get in,
show up at 9 PM. Still just $8. Still an insanely good time to be had. See ya there.

Friday night, Ted Leo & The Pharmacists take over the Starlight Ballroom. Inquiring 'Stampers want to know: Ted, whatever happenned to your spunky little red-headed keyboard player? Show up at 8 PM with $12 in hand, and maybe you can corner him and find out.

Iron & Wine and Calexico will lull the crowd at the Electric Factory into a dreamy garden state this Saturday night at 8:30. Don't feel like paying? Enter yourself into a drawing for some free tickets at Philebrity.



Thursday Photo Essay


Russell





Thursday Photo Essay


Too Bright




Music posted on this site is for sampling purposes only. If you enjoy the songs posted here, please go out and buy the records! If you are the copyright holder of any material posted here and would like it taken down, please contact Philabuster, and your request will be honored immediately. Please do not direct link to any of these songs. Thanks for your cooperation, and enjoy the sounds.

SkinnySlim's List



In Rotation...

Broken Social Scene - Broken Social Scene Think Differently - Wu Tang Meets Indie Culture Franz Ferdinand - You Could Have It So Much Better
Silver Jews - Tanglewood Numbers Count Basie - At Newport (Live) Wolf Parade - Apologies To The Queen Mary